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nuwanda Mar 2018
when I was ten, I scraped the surface of my skin
soothing the nerves that might be achin’
and I dreamed of being a shape-shifter
instead of wearing my own skin, wanted to be a transformer
like Mystique covered her scales with brown-leather jacket
as if she was hiding in her friend’s pocket

I wanted to be a shape-shifter so bad
that I carry different names in different events
introducing another personality into another styles and bents,
desperate in escaping reality
that my first name is Nobody
with a last name of loser in a morena body

when I was thirteen, I wanted to be a telepathic
because middle school was boring and pathetic,
your freckles and scars was not considered as aesthetic
because they are distractive, not attractive
then most people was stereotypic
and put so much weight of stigma
that was heavier in my own persona

I hope I could read someone’s mind
to attend their standards and be acceptable, not behind
I hope I could seep in the openings of their cracks
to see if I could join in their popular groups and ranks
I wanted so bad to be telephatic
that my sanity was almost equal to chaotic and psychotic

when I was sixteen, I wished I had x-men gene of invisibility
because school was tiresome and heavy
and bullies was way powerful than your mental ability
that you would rather disappear and stay in eternal tranquility
then suffer from discrimination
because your skin was not society’s accepted complexion
they said, I didn’t belong anywhere
because I am nobody from nowhere

mom even said I’ll be fine and should work for it
I said that I am over it and I am so done with it
but mom didn’t understand that suiting yourself in was like
walking in fired coal with trigger in my feet of armalite the wall

now, I just turned 19, I finally understand
how world kept condemning, exploiting and oppressing people who are weak
who are in minority, not hearing their silent screech
I finally understand that if you have no power
people will trample and trample you to lower

I finally understand that I don’t need an approval stamp
from anybody that crushes my soul in *****
and you, yes you
you don’t need anybody to be whole
because, certainly, surely, you can fill your own hole
I finally understand that I am enough
that life is rough so you have to be tough
And I finally understand what made me stay,
you foolish prodigy, do not be easily swayed
I have the right to be here, you have to.
Nigel Morgan Mar 2014
This board is not on the wall. It rests on a worktable against a wall. It’s almost the length of the table, perhaps a foot short. On top of the board its wooden frame makes a shelf ideal for photographs or cards to balance precariously, photographs and cards too precious to pin. Today there are five, yes they change from day to day, and today (from left to right) there’s an original drawing in walnut ink of a winter field, a photo of two children looking from a cliff top towards a peninsula’s end, a card called Autumn Spey from a lithograph by Angie Lewin, an invitation to a gallery opening, and a What’s On brochure – from another gallery – showing some unusual tapestry.

The Notice Board is 100 x 60 cm. The wooden frame is slight, probably home-made, but well-made, with a dark brown hessian surface. Not that you can see much of the surface as it is covered with stuff: photographs, images, poems, pictures, cards, quotations, a prayer, an origami bird, a doctor’s prescription, a piece of tapestry, an invitation, an address, lists galore, a cheque or two, a diagram (of a knot), a concert program. Not everything can be seen directly as many items are shared by a single pin and hidden four, even six, notices deep. Every so often the items are unpinned and consigned to a folder and filed, and so the process of choosing and pinning starts over again. This can happen after a holiday, returning uncluttered by days walking the cliff paths with only the quiet sea to gaze at and the cottage blissfully free of things known, things owned.  So when back at the desk, in front of the notice board, it seems right to be beginning again.

Mozart’s Linz Symphony is playing quietly in the background. It’s that time of day when music is sometimes allowed to frame work at this desk and blot out the going home noise of buses in the city street moving away from the stop three floors below. Linz, the capital of Upper Austria and now a large industrial city straddling the banks of the Danube, once gave its name to Linzertorte, a cake of jam, cloves, cinnamon, and almonds, and this remarkable symphony by Mozart. The composer had only just married his Constanza and wrote to his long suffering father:

When we reached the gates of Linz . . . , we found a servant waiting there to drive us to Count Thun's, at whose house we are now staying. I really cannot tell you what kindnesses the family are showering on us. On Tuesday, November 4, I am giving a concert in the theatre here and, as I have not a single symphony with me, I am writing a new one at break-neck speed, which must be finished by that time. Well, I must close, because I really must set to work.

And set to work he did. He had just 4 days to compose, write the parts (though Constanza helped), and rehearse an orchestra. Such is life for the working composer, even today. Maybe not a summons from a beneficent Count, but a phone-call from a producer with a deadline. It is the film or TV score to be composed at break-neck speed. And it can be done, believe me. It may not be sublime as Mozart, but it gets done: there are ways and means.

But this is today’s background, and as these words are written the gracious siciliano of the Symphony No.36 plays away. Such a tender confection.

Looking up at the notice board where does one start? Each pinned piece is a divertissement, an aide memoire to times, events, places, and people. It is a mixture of the colourful, the curious, the necessary, the unusual, the nostalgic, and the personally precious. These things are the qualifications required to occupy a place on this board.

But now Haydn takes over the musical background, Symphony No.88. No descriptive name here, just his wonderful music: his first symphony to score trumpets and timpani, and with more than a touch of Turkish in the Minuetto and Finale.

So close your eyes now (let’s listen to Haydn for a while), then slowly open them and choose from the notice board what first catches your attention.

It’s a coloured sketch of flowers on an A5 sheet of cartridge paper. It is outlined delicately in pen, coloured variously with pastels, green, orange, purple, red. The vase is a glass bowl. It’s set on a window-sill and there’s the frame of a window faintly rendered. There’s no artifice in the arrangement. These are flowers from a garden, picked and now firmly ****** into the bowl. Immediately the long, quiet east-facing room comes alive to colour. It’s in shade now the sun has moved since midday when the flowers arrived after a journey of 40 miles in a hot car wrapped in moist newspaper and silver foil. It is a special gift and its beauty remains vivid for days. When visitors visited gentle comments are made on their fresh colours.

At night when the room is only lit by a standard lamp standing by a pale yellow settee the flowers sleep in the darkness, holding a vivid memory of a day of colour and light. A recording of the Schumann quartets plays passionately during the ‘close to the end of summer’ evenings. Hands are held, and between movements there is an occasional exploratory kiss. Such was their collective fear of passion overcoming other endeavours . . .

In the early morning time when she slept in the room next door oblivious to his wakefulness he would enter the long studio room with its four windows to find the first sunlight patterning the floor. The flowers were wide-awake, their perfume rich in the still morningtime. He would stand entranced to see such beauty brought from her city garden; the first of many gifts he would come to treasure. His sketch was an amateur’s, but four summers past it continued to give much joy and dear memories. It had something of the solemnity of Mozart’s siciliano, and if an image could be said to have a right tempo, it had a right tempo, a gracefulness roughly hewn perhaps, but full of grace.
Sam  Mar 2016
Aide-memoire
Sam Mar 2016
I left your lipstick stained cup on the counter-
A bittersweet reminder you were here.
RILEY Sep 2013
The sweet texture of her skin,
Gone,
The curves from her hips to her legs,
Destroyed;
The hands and hearts in twine with the beauty of a perfect soul
Now lies and in a double layered wooden cabinet
That holds not our dead, but our fatal fears,
Forming mosques out of our open hands
Praying church bells ringing,
Like phones vibrating passing the immortal message of death.
And we look at each other,
Every night
Before and after I got to sleep
For when I sleep,
Although lacking luxurious spaces
I lie next to her in that doubled layered wooden cabinet
That becomes not a casket
But a space shuttle;
We fly and hover
And discover the lover I've loved and still love
But can't be loved back, because
The double layered cabinets
And cab drivers that took us from point A
To Becoming what we wanted to dream
Block our audibility;
And our tongues still tangled from when we last kissed
So I can't talk and neither
Can she- hear me?
Through the escalating winds
And multitudinous vibrations of living corps,
Cropped the days out of a memoire
And pasted them in an internal time shifting memory
That'll last a lifetime until we get to begin again;
The pen that frightened the writer,
The writer that wrote
And brought misery to the readers
As her read through the green in her eyes,
The silk in her hair
The failures in her tries
And the sobs in despair.
I declare, ware upon my enemies
Love, death and my loud conscience,
For none of them brought us good perhaps
And none of them gave us what we need
And none of them were as benevolent as promised to be;
For you promised to me,
And you promised;
But the promises could not be kept by the dead
And the dead are those living in a waiting hall
And the dead, that do not keep promises
And the dead looking at their watches
Counting backwards…
As we all claim dead
Some of us are looking for mortality
And some of us become immortal…
I owe this one to john green.
I find no peace ,
Every time I write my piece,
And you fail to read it's purpose.
I am not good I suppose*,
Because if I were,
You shouldn't always be there,
Avoiding my writings.
I know you will not read this,
But you will hear people talk of it.
My purpose ????
You need to know I'm concerned about your behavior .
Otherwise good day .
Poets ....Writers...
Kurt Philip Behm May 2022
A shadow hides behind your smile
in the Riviera sun
Parisian moments long ago
our love had just begun

A child born then lost to time
whose laughter still we hear
As life took back its greatest gift
—his memory to endear

(Mayenne France: April, 1978)
wordvango  Nov 2014
entre vous
wordvango Nov 2014
into deja vu
  apercu into extreme
reality, meaning
  seeming so lifelike, prescient.

I have done something
   similar , before,
28 % of the time
    my origin story says.

a propos or aide-memoire
    like *** remembering
an anieu regime-
     au contraire, I say to me.
I am au courant,
     in we!

In conversations with
     my past and present,
my Indian and French,
      extremes, I see
I am au fuit,
      been pensaut
seeing, two ways,
      bon vivant,
being,
      a ****** tunes.
slate slides
mud slips
rain falls

seems higher this time
water expands to where i see
the edge
More than Man  Jun 2015
Your Eyes
More than Man Jun 2015
...if a picture's worth's a thousand
In your gaze lies my memoire
I say a person's eyes must change
Fore within your stare I'm marked....

I write. I drink and I write. I fill bins. Many bins.
I look at your picture. I study your eyes... I start again.

I set the table. I dimmed the lights. I'd like to say I won.
I will not say I knew you. I've no idea who you've become.

My eyes never shifted from the table. We may not have stayed the course,
Had I noticed your eyes so full of tears, instead weighing what we'd served.

...they capture pictures come to life.
They capture scenes in their reflection
When you catch me eye to eye
You'll learn me from the silence...

Am I made to play the part, A vagrant full of sin...
The proof is in perspective. You've seen who I have been.

Each time I leave behind a piece. A picture will not do.
Words will not to fill my chalice. My inspiration left with you.

...the black lines divide the darkest colors
Must be the labyrinth I'm lost in.
Fore when you grow bored, not for my words
I would surely be forgotten....
while sleeping i forget your names

on waking

i remember
you said you wanted clarity

when it was there before you

black and white

& read

you mainly comment

like and share

when it is colour

blue

remember this



this is layered
with much underneath
hiding.

you may not like
that which may be
revealed

— The End —