11/25/2013*

I am scared
of losing you

but I know
that even
if I do,

I will always
have parts
of you within
me

as you
will always
have parts
of me within
you

and I find
comfort
in that

I know
I will never
lose you,
as you
will never
lose me

© 2013 Scarlet Van Allen

11/25/2013

there is something
grand that happens
when you read
poetry

when you read
someone's poetry,
you're taking
a look
inside their head,
and inside their heart

so know,
when you read
my poetry,
you are taking
a peek
inside my brain,
and inside my chest,
and inside my *soul

© 2013 Scarlet Van Allen

11/24/2013*

I am not
a girl

and I am not
a boy

I am a
storm,
a hurricane,
a tornado,
an earthquake

and
under my skin,
there is a
universe

with millions of
stars,
and planets,
and emotions,
and chemicals,
and scars

I am not
a girl

and I am not
a boy

there is a
windstorm
in my heart,
and in my head,
and in my bones,
and in my blood

and there are
galaxies
throughout my cells,
and throughout my skin

I am not
a girl

and I am not
a boy

I am far more
than that

© 2013 Scarlet Van Allen

11/24/2013

I envy the
teacups,
that get to
touch your lips

I envy the
blankets,
that get to
touch your skin,
and keep you
warm

I envy your
bedroom walls,
which have seen you
smile,
and laugh,
and cry,
and sweat

I envy the
computer screen,
that gets to
stare at you
for hours
on end

I envy your
hair brush,
which is allowed
to run through
your hair,
like I wish
my fingers could

I envy
the stars,
which you look up to,
and talk to
when things get bad

I envy the
water,
that gets to
run along your spine,
and collarbones,
when you take
a shower

I envy the
stuffed animal,
that you sleep
next to
every night,
for I wish
it was me
instead

and I envy
everyone
that you talk
to,
for I wish
I could talk to you
instead

I envy
everyone,
and everything,
that gets to
touch you,
and look at you,
and listen to you,
for I can not
be there to
touch,
or look,
or listen

I am only
hundreds of miles
away

but I hope,
I wish,
I *pray,
that someday
I will replace
that teacup,
or those blankets,
or your bedroom walls,
or your computer screen,
or your hair brush,
or the stars,
or the water in the shower,
or your stuffed animal,
or everyone,
that gets to
touch you,
look at you,
and listen to you,
if only just
for a minute

© 2013 Chloe Perkins

11/24/2013

someone asked me
if I've ever been
in love

immediately,
I thought of you

I know that sounds
weird,
being since we
haven't even truly
met

maybe I'm not
in love* with you
yet,
but I am
in love with the
idea of being
in love with you

I'm in love
with the idea
of every day
waking up next
to your smiling face

or maybe I'm
in love with
the idea of
kissing your nose,
or holing your
hand,
or making you smile,
every day,
for the rest of days

maybe I'm just
in love with
the idea of
calling you mine,
and saying your
name,
and leaving you
notes around the house

maybe I'm just
in love with
the idea of
tracing my fingers
down your spine,
and calling you
darling,
or dear,
or love,
or baby

maybe I'm just
in love with
the idea of
my fingers tangled
in your hair,
or my legs
intertwined with yours,
or my lips upon
your cheek

maybe I'm
in love with
the idea of
hearing you say
my name,
and feeling your
hand resting on
my shoulder,
and listening
to you talk,
for hours on end,
about yourself,
or your life,
or your dreams,
or your family,
anything,
as long as I
get to hear
your voice

maybe I'm
in love with
the idea of
going to sleep
in your arms,
and holding you
when you're sad,
and wiping your
tears away when
you cry

maybe I'm
in love with
the idea of
hearing you laugh,
or even hearing
your footsteps
down the hall

maybe I'm not
in love with you,
but I am
in love with the
idea of being
in love with you

© 2013 Scarlet Van Allen

11/23/2013

my night consisted
of silent thoughts
of you

the concert was bright,
full of sad faces,
and drunk patrons.

but for some reason,
I couldn't tear
my mind away
from you.

I saw you
on the stage

I saw you
next to me

I saw you
as the girl
in the front row,
waving her hands,
and singing along

I saw you
in everything
around me

in the walls,
in the lights,
in the beer
under my shoes,
in the smoke
throughout the auditorium,
in the smells
of *** from
a few rows ahead,
in my head,
in myself

I can not help
but think of you
every time I breathe

every time I
even open my eyes

every moment
of every evening,
spent alone,
wishing I had someone

no matter if I
ever get to have
you,
or if I spend
my whole life
wanting* you,
I will always
have a piece of you,
inside my head

I will always
think of you
when the leaves
start to fall off
the tress

and when I’m standing
on the beach,
and the water
rushes towards my toes

and when I’m
laying in bed
every night

it will always
be you

© 2013 Scarlet Van Allen

11/22/2013

have you ever
been so curious
that it kills you inside?

have you ever
been so determined
to find the truth
that you forgot
about everything else?

have you ever
been so unsatisfied
with the unknown
that every second
of every day
you're thinking
of different theories,
different stories,
different beliefs,
that you can
hardly keep your head
******* on straight?

I don't know
how I have lived
for so many years
being so content
with not knowing
everything and
anything
about my own existence

how was I
not ever concerned
with this,
how was I
fine with knowing nothing?

because now,
now,
I am certainly
not fine

I am not
okay

I am not
well

I am beginning
to go mad
from the
unknown

I *need
to know

anything,
and everything
about myself,
about us all,
about our existence,
about the earth,
about space,
about the universe,
about life

I will never
be satisfied
without it

© 2013 Scarlet Van Allen