i need someone who will understand how unstable i am, sometimes being alone can be dangerous for me but other times its exactly what i need.

The hurt isn't something that just goes away,
The pain has already come to stay,
It's already such a great price to pay,
But it must be endured come what may.

i’m tired of feeling
like i wanna die
all the time
it makes me feel
sick inside because
i wanna be here for you
and i wanna keep
holding your hand
but i feel so blue
all the time
i don’t know how
to keep staying alive

i don’t want help anymore
i tried and tried but
nothing ever saved me
and i cried and cried
because i still
wanna die
i love you so much but
i wanna say goodbye
yet still stay by your side

i waste everyday
“living my life”
but i sit here and
wonder what it would be like
if i took my own life
i wish i could get better
but i’m permanently stuck
losing my mind
to the sadness that fills
the blood in my veins
which goes directly
to my brain

At times
I long for a world that is black and white

Crimson sunsets would no longer make me believe that love is anything but painful

and the oceans would stop summoning for me to come home with their sapphire tides

I could be content with where I reside, for all colors would be the same
and your eyes would stop calling my name

and perhaps, it's because a world filled with grey

is merely and unapologetically mundane.