One day my brain will be nice to itself
Instead of rage I will give it a big hug
I’ll be able to apologize for all the years
of mistreatment and sorrow
I will mean it when I say I’m fine
there are no more layers to peel off
no more mysteries to solve
and no more reasons to worry
My mind will be at peace one day
A mantra for me to keep going

I make you up inside my head,
a version all fabricated from my own mind,
like an invisible chain
with a weight attached pulling me in
there is an unreasonable, unrealistic, tug
to get to know you
science can’t explain what this feeling is
that makes me see you
makes me feel like I can read you
a vibration of attraction that physics
hasn’t quite discovered yet
a gravitational pull of my mind leads me to thoughts of another dimension
with a me and a you in an alternate reality of my imagination that feels so real it’s like a memory
call it chemistry or a recollection from a past life
but I see you in my daydreams
A hazy place filled with my fantasies of all the possibilities of humans I feel bonds with but don’t really know

A girl in your hands is worth more than two in their bush .

carpet forrest view
smells of vacuum hose
reminds my stomach to churn

calm as an ironing board / stressed as the walls
foreign as an enemy / familiar as the enemy
                   music knows no enemies
reigned as a god / resigned as most of the dead
    rewarded as a child /pell-mell as egg shell
vile as only myself
shelf-life   of a plucked fruit gone untreated
weening mental state   of the recently unteated
soft as sputum / rooted as generations of defeat
               prattling  like we'll never have our fill
                                          riddled as an ant hill

Teen fever and dreamy reminiscence;
With our memories limited to polaroidan evidence