When I hear it rains, I smile, I sigh.
I wait..
The window fogs up, the fog then vanishes, but your absence remains.

When I hear it rains, I dream of you,
of empty promises,
and happiness drains..

When I hear rain, you come to mind,
with thoughts of loss, and thoughts of pain.

And just as the rain begins to subside,
my feelings dissipate, as I order them in pride:

"Go out and play,
and wash your pain away."

I cry for my heart and for that, I am to blame.
I cry for my heart as it reshatters into a million sweet pieces every time I see the letters of your name.
I weep as my heart pumps poison to my veins and honey to my brain so my body feels the aches and my mind feels delighted.

You've loved another and I'm aware.
while I'm here picking up pieces of me and pieces of my pride,
you're out there, flirting with a date.

That's not fate.

Fate was you and I.
fate IS you and I.
And I know that you know this,
that's why I cry.
Don't you know this?

I'm insane? Define sanity.
If sanity is condemning my unquantifiable love for you and deeming it ephemeral then by God I'd rather be insane.
You are the heart of my heart, you are the mind of my mind, you are my sanity.
You are my prize, my precious,
my torment and the reason of my soul's demise.

And now look at me, what's left of me?
A mere leaf falling from a tree,
The tree that was my balance.
And now I'm shaking cold, old and frostbitten like an unwanted unwelcome cold December night while you roam like spring, blossoming and joyful.

What you've done is cruel.

My greatest fear is not losing you, it is losing myself after your departure.
My greatest fear is that this heart would fall to a disease it can never recover from when the cruel frost reaches my core.
I'm afraid I'm losing the ability to love.

We live
We die
Life is but a journey
We share we care we flirt with
a love affair: with life.
We cry we are happy we are shy
We’re the friend and the spy
We pry on other people’s business
We are everywhere.
We are alive.

We care.

And then we leave, and retrieve all our shine
We intertwine
With the roots and the shrubs
Within the endless labyrinth of the mundane and the divine
We become part of it
It consumes us
Earth takes us in, and we begin
To unthink
unfeel

Is this real?

Am I buried, am I cremated, was I clothed, was I bare?
I don’t care.

Condensed vapors and precipitated storms
Raging thunder and wind transforms
Swings rocking back and forth in parks
Leaves swaying to the rhythm of the wind

Clouds wander off
Subtle beams of light
Fresh dew marks on vivid green grass
A light screen of sheen on the window

Step out

Breathe in
Breathe out

I disappear
right here, in the adorning light of the sun

Smoke rises thick and strange
liplocking a joint,
my hand gently caressing his thigh,

I'm high.

Haze, daze, kaleidoscopic vision and
a million ways of looking at life.

Heart race.

Touch the air, taste the lights
blips of conversations
picture not in whole
i remember words, feelings, lies,
bloodshot eyes, laughs, unforgivable social gaffes.

Silence.

distorted vision, emotional collision
yellow, blue, red.

Green.

we're suddenly in bed
warm flesh, breathing escalated
damp sheets, whispered profanity
euphoric chills, midnight treats.

we crave the lights again,
we want to feel the air, and we try,
the smoke and the ceiling find embrace
once again,
it's late, we debate, and tessellate the night
with pieces of our mind.  
Fate. you talk to me, you tell me your secrets and I relate

sun beams seep through the shades
and glaze our bodies to rest,
we hug them and lay side by side:

I'm numb,
you're oblivious,

we're derezzed.

With how tired I am,
I am not amazed with how uncomfortable this chair is.
Countless men proposed, yet I chose,
The one who would break my back with house chores.

I should have thought more.
I could have thought more…
I should have listened to my mother.

These wooden floors are hard and cold,
My hair is shedding, and I feel old.
The colours on this glass window,
would they fade in time to reveal,
what is false and what is real?

My heart is bursting.
It is of no consequence.

What is the benefit of looking out the window at my shattered youth?
The view is dreary,
And I am growing more and more weary.

Lord, relieve this sore.

Embarked my usual train of thought,
raging hormones fight fiercely to win.
There you are now, vividly brought,
in pure thoughts full of sin

Tossing & turning in bed,
a typical lustful insomniac.
Tearing my blanket, pulling on a thread,
and watching the ceiling like a maniac.

I stare in empty spaces,
anxiously awaiting you now.
I'm going mad with your perfume traces.
I even smell it on my dress, I don't know how.  

I lay there restless for a while,
until i hear your voice.
You walk through the door to serenade me to sleep
I say "touch me." and you like that choice.

Bite me, I love when a lover misbehaves.
Breath me in the midnight heat.
Crush on me like the strong Pacific waves.
Come closer, come sense my heartbeat.

Sleep deprivation. We argue.
Over a lovers' argument,
You say "A million times I love you"
I say "Your love, is my lifetime accomplishment"

You lay a kiss, ever so adorning.
Slip into your dream as I slip into mine
and when we make it to the next morning
then darling I guess that's a good sign.

Your arrogance,
your pride.
The tyranny you hide.

Your fashion sense and flair,
That bracelet that you wear.

Your scent,
your taste,
your fingers,
slipping along my waist.

Vanilla blooms and smoke.
Reach to my back,
Stroke.

You're touching,
you're staring,
you're teasing,
you're daring.

Look at me,
smile.
You're deviant,
I'm vile.

You're "fourteen" steps ahead,
I'm "twenty" back instead.

My mind grows thoughts,
to win..
Thoughts of you,
and thoughts of sin

Bits of blond here and there,
Beauty marks everywhere..

I catch up.
Do you feel it?
My body aches,
reveal it.

Sheets of white,
shaking

A war; the love we are making.

More scratching.
A few lustful silent breaths.
Louder screaming.

My long blue nights
of dreaming.

Now I'm only left
with a trace,

of a four stroke letterface.

They're everywhere I go:
"Gush", "star", and "no"

Words that repeat,

resound.

I'm bound.

Seven sins,
for all mankind

I commit less,
I'm left behind.

You're indifferent,

you're blunt.

I was just a new hunt.

What's "innocent"?
What's "safe"?

Mere letters made me cave.

Mere letters can't define.

I'm more than an "aging wine".

More talking..

I stare.

Confusion,
everywhere.

Irrelevance,
contradiction,
and pouring waterfalls of speech.

Unstable souls should not preach.

Confusion splashed across the wall
Confusion took its toll.

And now after all,
It's either a fall,

Or a continuous reach.