Every day I sit down and begin to open my soul;
I bleed out onto the paper in ink; feelings becoming less whole.
But oh, what a beautiful release from within.
The secrets are out, no longer buried beneath my skin.

years of negativity
like seeing your
reflection on the other
side of the glass barrier,
I never looked both ways
when crossing the road
because of years
of being blind
to anything that
came close,
waking up
felt like finding
a new strand of
cancer somewhere
every day,
I heard nothing but
voices, I knew I
was hurting myself
but I never stopped to
look both ways,
I realized it wasn’t
just me that I was
impaling with sadness,
sometimes darkness
shines light on life
more than light itself
ever will,
at the bottom of
every bottle my heart
would sit and drown until
I ended up swallowing it
back into my chest,
slowly the whisky
is veering from
being stained red,
every mirror
reflects more than just
a face,
it shows a past
so dark the
background
is the focus,
instead of looking
at the rocks beneath
my feet crumbling
I’ve been taking steps back,
hands like blenders
left on too long
are reaching towards
pulling the plug,
looking both ways
has always been
a problem for me,
but I  finally
caught a glimpse
at what happens
to the left and realized
that change is right.

he's only happy when
my pretty little lips are wrapped around him,
when he can pat my head
and say "good girl"
because i'm doing what he wants,
but if i don't,
he'll turn his head
and kindly never speak to me again
now i can't have that
can i

so i'll gladly take him in my mouth
if that means he'll love me
and he'll never leave me,
he'll keep me close
because he knows
he has me in the palm of his hand
and if i do what he wants
he'll have to be with me,
because who else
would bend over as easily as i do

Because as we sat there under that tree one chilly Autumn afternoon all I could think was, "****, I could love her forever."
-and this is why we would never work // a.s.

over the course of the year
flowers have died
and people have cried
and lovers have lied
but i can also tell you
some scars have seemed to fade
some friendships were made
and visits were paid.
and i also fell in love
and my heart broke
and i endured that pain
but i am fine
i have managed to stay sane
and life never stopped going
and flowers never stopped growing
and his smile never stopped glowing
and he might not love me
but i still see him in my sleep every night
and he's still the reason that i write
and everything is going to be okay
because life goes on
and eventually i will move along.