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Somewhere between

Everything and nothing
Everywhere and nowhere
Presence and absence
Life and death
Light and dark
Peace and war
Thoughts and actions
Zero and Infinity

Lies
My heart!!!
Doing something
Lying somewhere
Physically present
Mentally absent
Living to die
And
Dying to live
Searching for the sun
Thinking to act
Counting the finite in the infinity!!!

And
I
Am
A
Bundle
Of
Contradictions!!!!
**** me quietly in the current of the Caspian
That calloused-caviar undertow
Petroleum-pierced fragmented bone
You whispered things no child should know
And I was no child then
Trembling hands I emerge from the lion’s den
Wearing memory like white lines on the insides of my wrists
Until I forget they’re there
Blue eyes, blonde hair
Painted mouth and vacant stare
Here is who I have become

So kiss me quietly in the white-capped waves of the Caspian
My lips a promise sealed in black oil and blood
Hear the water tank trickle fill and flood
See the volcanoes burst with sacred mud
And feel my skeptical smile
Spectacle-clad you read my file
It’s been a while since I relived all of this

And I’m deciding if it’s far too late or far too soon
To begin to deconstruct our interactions
The repulsion, the attraction
The actions and reactions
That defined that interim allotment of time
I sit here now retracing your lines
On the rickety map in the back of my mind
Memory, so mute, so blind
And ripping down the track so quickly
Thrown back so sickly-bitterly
Like salt-lime-tequila

My memory has been mutilated
Slaughtered, drained and skinned
Treated, chopped and trimmed
And now I place it on a table in the street
Tell me, can you hear the pattern of its late heartbeat
As you grip a fleshy dripping pound of it in your hand
My memories are no-man’s land

So caress me carefully in the cool-calm caves of the Caspian
Recall the strange sounds of the early days
Sacred grounds, hot-garbage haze
Sandy winds, the bazaar maze
That made me acutely aware of the incomplete
Not even joyful summer heat
Could keep me from floating feet-up in the Georgian river
Memory smile, convulse and shiver

I intended this to be a reconciliation
Call me queen of counterproductive apology
Let’s redefine astrology
To gain some favour from the stars
Russian salad and white box cars
Deep *** holes in Badamdar
Truthfully I’ve never known who you really are
And I probably never will

But cut me kindly in the clouds above the Caspian
This is as close as we can get
Ignorant prejudice my one regret
But I have not forgotten all the good
And I will try to love you like I should
But tell me, is it better to have memories that lie
Or have nothing at all?
Shall I embrace the distortions or the abyss?
**** me carefully or give me a kiss
Tell me, what am I to do with this?
Cut me open or caress me
Call me child or undress me
Your impassive smile does not impress me
Tell me, how am I to process this?

I’ve swam your sea, I’ve coughed your air
I let you stroke and steal my sandy hair
I left without once looking back
No pillar of salt
No pile of ash
No blame or fault
Or debt or cash
But still the walls begin to crack
I feel the stitches start to tear
Murky-memory drags me eastward by my fresh-grown hair
Forcing my eyes, so-cold and ever-blue ever deeper into you,
the dark heart of the Caspian
 Jun 2015 sabamughal
Rachel
Borders
 Jun 2015 sabamughal
Rachel
I know we're done
I've seen this coming
Those ties binding our heart
Break all of a sudden
I've watched as we started building walls
Made with shame and guilt
I am there when our world shift into a different axis
A world without me and you
I've noticed how our everything turns to nothing
Those cold treatments
Those eyes that seemed to focus on anything but me
And those smiles I wished I was the reason
I know its the end of our story
But I don't want a trajic ending
I'm still hoping one day you'll come back
And together we'll break these borders
 Jun 2015 sabamughal
Rapunzoll
Rouge
 Jun 2015 sabamughal
Rapunzoll
I pour myself into
your glass each night,
a toxic taste, I beg
for you to choke on.

You drain our bottle
dry, drinking desert
laps but still thirsting
for Pacific oceans.

Delving into firework
taste-buds, savouring
how we spill so easily in
nights drunken palms.

Telling me I'm cheap
stuff, liquid eyes that
keep you sober, but are
still a tempting sip.
© copyright
Misty eyes,
Aching soul,
I'm so young,
Yet feel old
 Jun 2015 sabamughal
Theresa Lie
Am i just deluding myself?
Every touch, every moment we spent,
Was it all just a lie?
I hate you for doing this to me,
This feeling of love
It just won't go away,
No matter how many times i tried
It always finds its way back.
I hate this emotion
And i hate you for this,
But i always end up loving you.
Every mistake and every imperfection,
It all flies away when i look into your eyes.
Those eyes that keep me from drowning
From all the things that are weighing me down.
You were my light,
My home,
My god,
You were everything to me.
You painted colors to my monochrome world,
Opening my eyes to see the beauty within.
But it all fell apart when you left me alone,
Stranded in this world of black and white.
I will always hate you,
But i will never stop loving you.
Idk why but i just feel like writing about love...
 Jun 2015 sabamughal
Theresa Lie
Every night the Dark Shadow comes for me,
Taking away all my hopes and dreams,
Leaving me in despair.
He sends his dark minions after me,
Clawing every happy memory i have
Until there's nothing left.
Until i'm nothing but an empty shell.
 Dec 2014 sabamughal
DC raw love
When I was a young boy
they said i'm only getting older

but how was I to know then
that she'd be crying on my shoulder

put my money in a big house
get myself a pretty wife

she'll collect my life insurance
when she connects me with a knife

Somebody get the doctor
I'm feeling pretty poor

somebody get the stretcher
before I hit the floor

Cinderella save me
I lost my job, they kicked me out of my house

Everybody's got opinions
but nobody's got the answers

and the **** i ate for breakfast
well it'll only give me cancer

i’m running in a circle
running to the morning light

i ain't quite workable
it's been one hell of a night

somebody get the doctor
I think I'm gonna crash

never paid the bill
because I ain't got the cash

Cinderella save me
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