You didn't have to do it
it gets easier down the road
despair is but a signal
slow it down and ease your load

but you did it
I wish you wanted me to know
and now, as I walk on
I find it hard to even go

Don't give me excuses
Because of you I want to die?
I shake my head. No, I'll live
and I don't have to know why

I just know
I cannot die as yet
its one thing I cannot forget.
But the one thing that I wish I could
is the thought of you
and why you would.

When the reasons seem so empty
and expectations seem so grand
it is hard to find the courage
to satisfy demand

When the beck and call is silent
and the path before is gone
it is too much to just continue
although I know I must go on

All along I have been searching
an easy way to have it all
never trying just to do it
too afraid that I would fall

And now as I grow older
My time is running out
and if I do not do it now
than I will have to do without.

Once upon a time,
I had a story I could tell.
But, now the facts have changed
and as I suppose its just as well.

For you see, I say my story
it is one of scattered dreams.
And, I was looking for an ending
that would sew up all the seems.

But, somewhere in the patchwork,
in the throw rug of my mind,
there was a loose thread
that I just could never find.

So, when it comes to taking action
you know why I won't take part.
For, all it takes is one good tug
and my patchwork comes apart.

Why won't these words release me?
They abstract me in my mind.
I will find internal peace
if an exit I can find.

I'm sad.
I should know why.
But, to put to words, I'm not sure that I...

Well, you see,
the way I handle problems,
the way I come to grips,
I put my thoughts to paper
as if I pull them from my lips.

I read them, finding meaning;
finding rhythm to my rhyme.
But, this sadness that I feel,
it just won't fit in metered time.
When I try to let it flow
I get a log jam in my mind.
All I get is garbled senses
with truth impossible to find.

Yes, all I do is scrawl confusion.
Yet, maybe that will say it best.
For,
how can I divulge the answers*
when  I never passed the test.

I can't seem to make up my mind
whether to go to sleep
or write a line
I take so long to make a move
I tend to grind into a groove.

I make a choice
but, do not act.
I use my voice, but let it crack.
I know what to do, but I do not
and so, I always seem to miss my shot.

Procrastination, Indecision, Laziness and Pride
Together, they conspire
to keep me down
and locked inside.

I have come close so many times.
I tell myself I'll see it through.
But, then in the fury of the moment
I always seem to miss my cue.

But, it isn't timing
or dependence
that keeps me waiting for someday.
Its the knowing I can do it
If I could
just get on my way.

I am Guatemala
I am its mountains and its shore
I am its black sand beaches. I am its artists and its poor

I am the mist from its volcanoes
I am its limestone richly carved
I am the Mayan, and the Latin. I am the hungry and the starved

I am its folklore and its future
I am its markets and its clothes
I am the abandoned and forgotten. I am its children no one knows

I am its colorful conventions
I am its jungles and its fare
I am its colonial traditions. I am the pilas in the square

I am Guatemala
I am its living and its dead
One is always Guatemala, no matter how far we are spread

Somewhere in the Eden,
where man has lost his right to even go,
somewhere in this Garden
man killed all that once did grow.

To prove we are pathetic
we invade lands that have no walls
Claim the land, and all its living
and make them subject to our laws.

Now, the water dark with death,
and the shore line rich with crude,
and its the men who now can't fish
who are the one's so quick to sue.

But, who speaks for the otters?
or the eagles?
or the land?
What attorney represents them
in the unnatural court of man?

Yet, to even just repay them,
for destroying their families, lives and homes?
The best way we could start?
Is just get out. Leave them alone.