I loved you in the silence,
the forgotten, aching still,
that throbbed beneath the rain–
in clocks too slow to ****.

You were not lost or vanished,
not ghost, nor fleeting flame–
but time rewrote your nearness,
and absence learned my name.

I loved you when the dishes
lay waiting in the sink,
when dusk fell down too early
and left no space to think.

You were not made for statues,
for saints or poet’s pen–
you were the crack in breathing
that let the sorrow in.

I do not write you letters,
for words fall through the sieve;
I loved you past the promise
of anything I’d give.

Not for your tender smiling
or how your hands once pressed–
but for the way you linger
inside my failing chest.

So stay, not as a memory,
not shadow, smoke, or sound–
but as the ache I carry
when no one is around.

In my quiet mind,
no secrets, no need to lie
only time stares back.

Lonely clock unwinds,
each thought echoes with silence
no one waits inside.

I run in your mind,
looping like a whispered name
you can’t let me go.

But where do we meet
between your dreaming of me
and my fading self?

A thousand poems,
a million kisses,
laughter lands in
open eyes,
sighs I hear
in lovers' rooms.
sooner will
the sun be fading,
a lifetime
of hidden hopes
buried in
hillside grasses.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

I want you,
to pull me close,
let me sink into your arms,
and let all my thoughts fade into nothing.

I want you,
to hold my hand,
trace patterns across it,
with the pad of your thumb.

I want you,
to lie with me on the grass,
looking at the stars,
talking about everything and nothing.

I want you,
to run your fingers through my hair,
to look into your eyes,
and see the stars inside them.

I want you,
to be my sunshine on a cloudy day,
to see all the darkness in me,
and love me for who I am.

I want you.

Desire has chained me to the mountain,
And you fly by every day,
Unknowingly eating my heart out.