Sometimes I wonder is this life is really mine
If the chaos in the cosmos mixed up the constellations
and gave me someone else's horoscope
Because it feels like a dream not meant for me
And I'm trying to wake up, but your face won't go away

I want to drive
Until I can't tell the difference between road and sky
Until these tire tracks cross out every line in that letter you left
Until the whipping wind blows away your scent on my skin
Until the bright white sun blurs every vision of us
And get so far, so fast,
that the memory of you could never catch up

Your soul is deep and vast
Swelling like the waves of the sea
Crash against my shores
Beat back the bone
And surge in my open chest
Erode away the hollow cage
Wash over me and fill my lungs
Sweep me out, far and deep
And drown me in your ocean

You asked for a poem, a letter, a sonnet
An ode to the what ifs, the what is, the what more
As if the simple action of touching pen to paper
Could somehow suffice for touching me to you
To spill the words, the last looks, the secrets
Of love, of the life they lived as birds of paradise
Those wild birds, like the phoenix
Their time burned out in bright hot flame
And they became and became
Those birds, those flowers, those flames
That gave life from the ashes of Pompeii and Vesuvius
And new passion for the glory of living
To merge your soul, my rhythm, their sound
And this ink that flows from this pen
That flows from this hand
That this paper should capture them,
Capture us
In black stain
As we stumble through a lifetime
Is, if I may say, life's only impossibility

Little pieces I give away
Bit by bit I chip at the source
Fragile, precious shards
Leave me raw and rough-cut
I’ll whittle this soul down
To carve you into me
If only you’ll give me the tools

I have never been at ease
Endlessly pulled in every direction
Coming to rest nowhere
Nothing soothes the restless, weary heart
but the open sky and the changing winds
New horizons stretched into everlasting
The question of something more
forming in the distance
Some dream undiscovered
Some something else to reach for
I was never meant for stillness
My feet will always find a new path
My home is in the journey

Let me rest my head in the crook of your arm
And feel your pulse quicken against my cheek
Until the drumming in my chest matches the rhythm in yours
Hear the soft, sweet melody of your breathing in my ear
Read every lyric in the lines of your palms
You are my favorite song

I wish there was somewhere I could go
To be alone with the universe
To feel the stardust coursing through my veins
Lie down in my own corner of the earth
Soak into every blade of grass, emerald and jade
Generations brushed against my skin
Paint my eyes every color of the sky
Vermillion and gold and endless blue
Settle in to rest when the glory of day gives way to dusk
Pull up the cover of night around my shoulders
Quilted in black and pale moon glow
Dripped in crystal constellations
Galaxies between my fingertips
Gentle peace of eternity stretched before me
Fill my dreams with worlds unknown
Carry me away somewhere void and vast
Leave me with the stars and never look back

Maybe you hate me
Maybe you don't
Maybe you're just waiting for something
Planetary alignment, an oracle proclamation
A break in the pounding, numbing, all-encompassing
Fear
A click
When the cuffs break loose
There's no holding back now
Maybe I need you
Maybe I don’t
Maybe I just need the thought of you
To keep something, anything alive inside
To look beyond the shell in the mirror
And see a glimpse of possibility
To hope that when this heart breaks free
There’ll be no strings attached to drag it down
Maybe just the one
The one that forever pulls me back to you

beautiful caged bird
sitting still on a gilded swing
whistling away hope and desire
empty and black as her charcoal feathers
ruffled by the wind of passersby
passing by and passing by
she sheds a phoenix tear within
to heal the wounds of loneliness
but tiny scars remain
etch deep the memory of sorrow
won't someone set free her wasting spirit
locked away in a golden cell
come sweet and swift, the cold breath of freedom
carry her soul to a life unknown
wings clipped no more
released
at last
to find a peace all her own

they come and go in hot and cold flashes
like bright grey shadows
envelope me in a thin veil of black comfort
unwanted and unseen

give me your brooches, twisted Oedipus
reach, reach, but you cannot find me
I am no one to everyone
anyone
whispered away like crimson ghosts
held still in a time
where 11:11 wishes
float past their false promises

pour out my heart to you, beautiful strangers
this ink runs like onyx into oblivion
invisible pieces of stardust and diamonds
too long waiting in the rough and lost their luster
daily seen and daily forgotten
waiting in vain for true hands to touch them
waiting, waiting to fade again
into a light that never was

if you don't want me no more, that's fine
i'll tear out my soul and leave it behind
it's just a small piece of me left to remind you
of all of the promise you left behind you
perhaps one day you'll open your mind
and realize that logic is not how you find
the things you want most
your eyes, they blind you
see with your heart and use it to find who
it is in this world that makes your light shine
whose heart and soul are with yours entwined
let love surround you, engulf you and bind you
and one day the passion you seek will find you

Rolled up the doormat
There's no more welcome here
No more space to drag your feet
I'm beating out the dust for good
Clearing the air
I'll send you floating on the wind to cloud someone else's doorway
Go tread your poison on some other path
You won't have this stone to step on anymore

you walked into the room
and the blue sky turned royal
the wind whispered a song for you
and sweetly carried it to the crystal sea
the sun turned to gold and rained its light in your eyes
your feet touch the earth and it smiles to feel you
I smile to feel you
To know you
who you are
what you are
that you are
with me

you walked into the room
and nothing else ever was
you were forever
and everything was you

it was always you
always and only

you walked into the room

There is no life left here
Just the hollow roar of emptiness
These bitter bones tremble in the lonely howl
of a barren soul
Broken, withered to dust
The shape of what once was
What used to be but never again
Charred shadows of the past
Dried up and blown into memory
Nothing left to give
But to give up the ghost
Put away the haunting
Of what will never be
Pull up the anchor from the shores of yesterday
Float it away on a new day's current
Press on, forward
Ever forward into the breaking light
Of something more