toward real Life..
Observe the rising of
thoughts and perceptions..
Don't allow these
to claim your identity..
Be the observer
which you always are
removed from objects
and clever subtleties..
Experience the freedom
when you take that step..
You are ready now to:
think and not think
perceive and not perceive
act and not act...

Do not hide in those shadows
Just light that candle
You will be able to see
You have the ability to hold that handle
Always look upward
Move with that tender force
Be fierce but gentle
Be that power source

Congratulations , you are among the living* !

Be proud of your humility
But humble of your pride

-  Hadrian Veska

She was never one for
close contact
A hug
was just not something
to give away easily

We grew up together
for the past 16 years
I've been near her through
tears of a fallen friend
The end of high school
and meaningless adventures

We've always said goodbye
A simple wave
with a goofy grin  
Till the day my time there
came to an end

I moved away
far away
to a place she couldn't reach
And the last time I saw her she
offered me a comforting hug

As if I was going to
the trenches of a great war
It was strange
It was odd
It felt like no hug I felt
before

It was real
It was powerful
I never wanted to both
feel and not feel
a hug like that again

She was my secret crush
She would always be my
friend

Oxygen is precious
and I continue to waste it
contemplating life
and the decisions I make in it
but I can't decide if it's
sadness or anger I'm filled with
I clench my jaw constantly
and I cry in my sleep
don't know what I'm worth
every day I'm reminded I'm weak
decisions decisions, a lack of ambition
or rather the strength to acquire
what I desire and I know
life is truly a lustrous haze

My soul wants to dance
whilst my heart wants to fight
inflicting pain on others
only to lessen my strife
my mind is a complex maze of thought
thinking we were gifted with intelligence
but now I get it, it's a curse to see
understand, realise and go on knowingly
that life is hard and the world is not fair
well I realised it young
so I can admit that I'm scared
the people that comforted me,
stood by my side, seem unaware

I hope people see something in me
because I don't
I see pain filled eyes when I wash my face
I connect with a reflection
that has felt my pain
I doubt everyone else is different
we're all ashamed
the circumstances differ but
the pain is the same