Sitting 'neath an apple tree
In Edmond, Oklahoma
Thinking of the days gone by
And drinking my Corona

Body beat all black and blue
I've had less ups than I've downs
I guess that's just all that I get
As an old time rodeo clown

Should I say another season?
Is it worth what I will get?
Money, pain and broken bones
Those not broken yet

I've been gored by bulls in Texas
Stomped real hard in Abilene
But, I got my worst **** beating
By my ex, named Bobbie Jean

With a bull you see it coming
You just get out of the way
But Bobbie Jean sideswiped me
And I'll not forget that day

Put on some clown makeup
Some baggy pants, the game is on
But, I came home from one junket
And Bobbie Jean had up and gone

I wasn't set to find this
Fell in a bottle for a week
It wasn't bad she left me
It's that she took my hound dog, Zeke

That hurt more than any beating
I may have taken in the ring
I can take the biggest brahma
And the bruises it may bring

But, Bobbie Jean done hurt me
Blind sided me you'd say
I know I'll not forgive her
For taking my dog Zeke away

Now, I sit and ponder
One more empty by my side
Am I fit enough to stay here?
Can I stay for one last ride?

I know it's a sad story
Of a clown whose heart got broke
But beneath the colored face paint
I'm just an aging, sore cowpoke

So I sit beneath this fruit tree
In Edmond, Oklahoma
Pondering my future
As I drink one more Corona.

How do you describe
I'm not sure that you can
Truly find the words for
A Renaissance Man

I woke up this morning
Saw the paper, he was dead
Renaissance Man
Popped into my head

Rebel against the standard
Rage not causing pain
Live a life worth living
Like Anthony Bourdain

Teacher, writer, critic
Chef, student and man
Philosopher and cleric
A grown up Peter Pan

Question those around you
Learn, and share the wealth
Be a Renaissance Man to others
Don't keep your knowledge on the shelf

Demons, we all have them
Don't feed them, for they breed
Doubt into existence
Dark demons need to feed

Live life, avoid the shadows
Share and then go share again
Don't end up on a headline
Fight the urge, count to ten

Today, I read a headline
A Renaissance Man out of pain
I guess we never really knew him
Rest gentle Sir Boudain

Today I took a journey
Didn't know what I would find
I didn't venture far though
I just went inside my mind

To some it is intriguing
To see just what I think
I don't go in too far though
I just stay on the brink

Ideas are here a plenty
Each one a flower all in bloom
But, some are hard to capture
And others need some room

A garden full of promise
Self censored, quite aloof
Watered down and milky
Because, you can not face the truth

A bolt of liquid lightning
Sometimes escapes to the air
It gets past all the fences
And lands, god knows where

Thoughts that circle wildly
Cross the line away from light
Thoughts somehow unfocused
That leave me screaming in the light

The word pictures I paint now
Are the ones you want to read
The ones I leave inside me
I don't know just where they lead

Distractions all around me
Squirrel!!!....there's one now
I focus but it's hard to
I can not explain how

I hide away the anger
Leave some thoughts alone to die
I can't put them down on paper
I wouldn't even try

I listen to the voices
I let some of them come out
Others, I hide from
Those are full of doubt

My mind, it is a theater
I'm the only one on stage
Talk about a tough room
A lion, lost inside it's cage

I'm not saying it's crazy
Because, deep down I know I'm fine
But, I can see the journey into madness
Is just one toe over the line

Today, I took a journey
And I seem to have a knack
Of talking to the voices
And letting them talk back

I wake up every morning
It always starts the same
Trying to remember yesteday
It's just part of the game

Lord, I can't go on not remembering last night
I can't keep livin' hard I must confess
Lord, I 'm here to say I'm not drinking anymore
But, then again, I ain't drinking any less

I'm not drinking anymore
I'm not drinking any less
I'm tired of sleeping on the floor
My life is one hot mess

A room of empty bottles
Ashtrays full up to the brink
I look at them and all I feel
Is that I need another drink

This can't go on forever
I can't deal with all the stress
I'm not drinking anymore
But, I ain't drinking any less

Lord, I can't go on not remembering last night
I can't keep livin' hard I must confess
Lord, I 'm here to say I'm not drinking anymore
But, then again, I ain't drinking any less

whatever floats yer boat
paint a picture
sing a song
even write a note
just get out
and tell yer story
whatever floats yer boat

the message
is important
you could paint
it on a goat
just get out
and tell yer story
whatever floats yer boat

a writer sings
a painter paints
an author uses words
it's no good
unless the message
isn't seen or heard

keeping thoughts as secret
isn't good and here is why
because sharing brings them life
and otherwise they'll die

write a letter
do a play
or even bake a cake
the message
it is important
who cares what form it takes

say it loud
or scream it
even put it in a song
opinions
are for sharing
even if they're wrong

a writer sings
a painter paints
an author uses words
it's no good
unless the message
isn't seen or heard

keeping thoughts as secret
isn't good and here is why
because sharing brings them life
and otherwise they'll die

paint a picture
sing a song
even write a note
just get out
and tell yer story
whatever floats yer boat

Too **** drunk to play

I fell into a bottle
Four Presidents ago
looking for the hidden song
Just before a show

Once I thought I found it
I was in about half way
When I took the stage I found out
I was far too drunk to play

Every bottle has a song
somewhere deep inside
I haven't found one yet though
but, ****...i know I've tried

Each line upon my weary face
And scar upon my fingers
is the end result of searching for
the song that always lingers

If it isn't in one bottle
in the next it may be there
so for now, i'll just keep searching
for the song that isn't there

there's songs in other places too
too dark for me to go
some find songs inside a needle
those aren't songs I want to know

I come by my songs honestly
my scars show I've looked deep
But, when I'm almost there and see it
That's kinda when I fall asleep

when I'm sober, I can't find them
once I'm drinking, then I hear
The song calling from a bottle
I'm like an alcoholic seer

I know I'll find the right one
And it just may be today
I only hope I find it
Before I'm too **** drunk to play

I only hope I find it
Before I'm too **** drunk to play

Barkeep....another
Without ice
A double whiskey
It goes down nice
Feel the fire
That gentle heat
Barkeep...another
And keep it neat

A shot of whiskey
It's warm
not hot
You feel the fire
The bunring linger
Feel the fire
From one shot

You start out drinking
To **** the pain
You order one more up
Barkeep...again
The burning feeling
Inside your chest
You're still coherent
You're at you best

Time...it passes
Years go by
The fire's burning
You're gonna die
That burning feeling
Can't put it out
You move from whiskey
On back to stout

You can not stop it
The fire rules
Your eye's are red now
Red, runny pools
What once was pleasant
Now burns with pain
You can not stop it
Barkeep...again

You keep consuming
It's who you are
Half a bottle gone
You've gone too far
You can not taste it
You can not win
You can not put out
The Fire Within.