I want to be Fire.

I want to burn,
To lick and hiss
and defy all odds.

I want to last,
To never die even when a swarm of people
From near and far,
Scream, fling, shout
At me,
Still then,
I will burn,
Destroy everything that works against me.

I want people to stop and stare,
Admire my beauty,
Come so close to it,
But being too scared to touch.

I want to engulf,
To incinerate
Anything that stands in my way.
The smoke from my success
Should paralyse.

I want to be Fire,
Even when I think I’m dying out,
i want my flames to rise again and again.

The ghost of survivors guilt can be so unkind.
It haunts me even in my dreams
Every Single Night,
Taunting me for living and breathing right,
Showing me that this cruel, cruel world
Really is plight.

Dear Mama,
It’s me,
Your little girl.
The one who grew up too fast,
Has her own life now.
The one who you look at so strange,
‘Cause you can’t recognise even her own name.

Dear Mama,
It’s me.
Your angel.
Your baby girl,
The one who needs you more than ever,
The one who you can’t bear to look at because she’s changed.

Dear Mama,
Where are you going?
This is your home.
Home is where your heart is mama,
With me and the expensive new china.
Mama,
Please don't leave me alone, again.
Remember what happened the last time?

Dear Mama,
Please say it ain’t so.
You can’t leave now.
Your little angel needs to be in your arms.
Needs you to hold on to her,
Maybe then her broken pieces will fit back together.

Dear Mama,
I know you’ve gone,
But I also know that you’re still here,
That I’m still in your arms.
‘Cause Mama when I look at the sky,
I only see a bright light,
The star is shining on me,
Lifting me up,
Showering only glee,
Holding me tight,
Treating me right.

Dear Mama,
Don’t be sad.
Here I am,
Next to you,
Not on my death bed.

“Give me a reason to live” He said,
staring into the abyss that moaned his name.
“I can give you a thousand” I said
Grabbing a hold of his hand in an attempt
to ****** the satisfaction oblivion will gain.

The feel of your lips against my skin
Burning my flesh,
Lingering.
Your fingers raking through my hair,
Pulling and claiming what’s rightfully
Yours.

The way my fingers fit
So Perfectly in between yours.
The way our hands move,
Creating a Play with mere shadows.
Our moans
Groans,
Shouts,
Screams…
The way they are mere instruments
In creating a beautiful, sweaty symphony.

Darling, if not for me,
Or our memories,
Live for yourself,
Live to create new memories,
New favourites.
Live to be something,
Someone,
Forget thousands of reasons,
Baby,
You just need one.

You say I'm capable of nothing,
Not success,
Not writing,
Not passion,
Nothing exciting.

You put yourself on a pedestal,
The world can only revolve around You.
It must start and end with only You.
With no one being above,
Everyone only below
You.

You hurl your words like a bayonet,
Not Caring who You hurt in the process.
But when my sharp tongue betrays me in the name of self defence,
you sulk and shout
and stab me with your own two hands.

Oh brother,
Why don't you see
Who you're meant to be to me?
A protector against all evil,
A shield to my little, fragile body.

My brother,
Why don't you see that you're the one who is hurting me?
The sharp sting of your words will forever remain etched in my little, tiny, non-existent brain.