earth is so cool
earth is so nice
earth is the worst
earth makes me cry

i do everything i can to feel alive. i’ve ran until my knees felt weak. i’ve jumped into the cold ocean waters. i’ve gotten high. i’ve gone on the wildest of roller coasters. i’ve canopied before. i’ve eaten crazy spicy foods. i breathed. and i don’t know how to explain. i think it’s just all the headaches, sleepless nights, and lies i’ve told. i think it's just all the times i’ve cried and tried to die. maybe that overcomes the things i’ve done to forget time. maybe that overcomes the cheer of when the sun rises in the sky and the wind that caresses the trees under the bright moonlight.

I know it's hard to touch the clouds
when memories
hold you down
I know you cry a lot inside
when no one is
around
I know it is hard to wake up
sometimes
when breathing cuts so deep.

and the birds, they sing
but
you cannot hear
and the sun, it shines
but
you cannot see
and there's a lot of warmth around
but
you cannot feel.

I know it feels so hard
to live
with so many scars

but

light will shine and you will
see
and birds will sing and
you will hear

It's just a dark path
you have to walk
and I will be there
to walk along
don't hold your breath
don't give up yet
just
keep your hope
and you'll find one day
that you can fly again
for you deserve
the highest clouds
the purest air
the deepest love.

and I'll be here for you,
you, dear soul,
the sweetest lyric
of them all.

sometimes i feel like i'm not alive
my breath gets caught in my lungs
and i'm thinking too much about
all the things i wanna forget
my hands start to shake and
all i know is i want this feeling
to go away

When I first met you it was dark
underneath the society in which you favored yourself the plague
I shook your hand and smiled
but you already saw through my mask
I was never good at lying
and I would never be close to lying to you

I watched you from the passenger seat
the rain pelted my windshield but all I could hear was you
You spoke in big ideas, like stars and planets
you wanted me to picture myself among them
but I was rooted into the ground like the old oak in my backyard
turn left, then right
the pavement dancing past so thoughtlessly
it had no idea of the brilliance that drove upon it

I loved you when you weren't listening
when you were laughing to yourself about your own joke
and I joined you
hoping you would understand
but you never did
I bought you coffee and knew your order
Hours with you felt like minutes
and when you left the hollow in my chest grew
I loved you so heavily with every hug and hand hold
every minute of every day
but nothing seemed to show you how I was feeling

I lost you too many times to count
Sometimes it was on my terms
other times it was on yours
but bullet wounds hurt no matter which way you shoot
When I lay in bed and watch the ceiling
I think back to when I first met you
I wonder what I could have done to convince you to join the real world
but my world had become you
and yours me
and in that light, I didn't want to go back