no matter how hard i try to hate you,
i can only feel sorry for you.

i can't stop myself
from missing your toxicity.
your venom has yet to
completely drain itself from my veins.  
your wicked ways are
still woven into my soul
your evil, encapsulates me
no matter how hard i try
i can't seem to untangle myself
from your love

my body is my cage
my limbs, running on auto pilot
my legs take me to the kitchen
my hands grasp the steaming cup of tea
back to my bedroom it is,
to sit crossed legged
in the center of my bed
my mind is no longer in control,
which, is for the best.
images of pill bottles
little capsules shaken into the palm of my hand
i lift my drink to my lips
warmer than i thought, my tongue burns
flashes of sharp objects on skin
and scorching flame to flesh
i swallow, the syrupy taste of
honey slipping down my throat.
my mind in a fog,
my weighted body finds the strength
to lay down, pull the covers to my chin
lights left on, clothes from that day
have yet to be taken off my body
my eyelids close as they do every night
it'll be better in the morning.

If you were the Romeo to my Juliet, I should have died the first time.

It would have been much less of a tragedy.