Oh, she’s a killer
A knife-shaped *****
She’ll rip through your guts
In the rain-stained
Metro station
Down-town east-end
Blood spills on the bathroom floor
And she just smiles
Beautiful
And familiar
Walking along
Coffee in hand
Going to work
When she hits you fast
Black arrow to the eye-brow without warning
Stamped in the carpet
Cigarette-**** burned and bruised
And just when you thought you could be ok
**** you, Nostalgia!
You know just how to play me
Just where to slice me
All the right words
At all the wrong times
I’m a sucker for your curved blade
I wear your scars and curse your name
Nostalgia
**** me quietly
I am always, only, ever yours.

You jump in
The water is cold yet soothing
You begin to sink
It gets darker
However, it's relaxing
You are taken from the world
And retched **** left on earth
The water envelops you
Goes in your nose
And you stop
You don't think or breathe
Or talk
You are alone with your thoughts
But alas, you are saved
But is it really being saved
If you don't want to be there at all?

Dear Humanity,

I want you to look into your enemies and hold their breath in your lungs for one minute and in that minute watch y'alls ideas which were clashing like two stags fighting for the right of the land, halt abruptly.  In that minute I want you to acknowledge that beyond that barrier which you created when you heard the words " I disagree", is a soul who probably felt the calloused hand of life. Perhaps your enemy went to sleep with dried hands after washing dishes for the ******* Last time only to rise at the tolling of the alarm clock, it says Get Ready for School.  In that minute I want you to acknowledge that beyond the wired fence that sends electricity through their bodies when ever they approach, is a soul who might have had to endure the pang of hunger so siblings could do with something, anything so electricity is nothing In that minute, I want you to acknowledge how it feels to hold their breath.
Exhale.

Sincerely,

__

Maybe,
There is,
Something you're afraid to say,
Or confess,
Somewhere you're afraid to go,
Or leave,
Someone you're afraid to love,
Or let go,
Afraid of those things,
That will make you hurt,
For hurt means,
It matters.

This feeling I have,
I don't know,
What's worst,
Drowning in the ocean deep,
Or dying of thirst,
In the desert.

This feeling I have,
No phrasal combination,
No words could ever express,
For it beats the words,
It beats the world.

This ache of uncertainty.

every boy that has ever ran his fingers on my skin
crawled up from under my bed and invaded the darkness;
he pulled the blanket up over my shaking body,
and brushed his fingers through my tangled hair.

a creature of the night providing me comfort;
he laid his head on the empty side of my pillow
whispering into my hollow head,
signals which would flow through my dry veins
and start the pumping of a disintegrating heart.

his demons kept him awake at night
just as the monsters of my past have me;
his eyes were like a flashlight in the dark room,
this creature was my savior.

but morning comes and he is gone,
my troubles glisten in the sun -everyone runs.
you can't fix by morning what haunts you;
I only date monsters -they keep me company at night;
when my flaws come spilling out but not in bright light.

(NJ2014) All Rights Reserved.

One more step closer
                     is heartache
One step back would
                           be regret
I'll just stand here,
                    confused

I don't know what else to do...

        I can no longer
           breathe...
        I can no longer
                     move...

Just take a step towards
                      me
Then I'll gladly step towards
                *you

Then, in that moment


I did not feel
Anything