I appear to not have matched pace
with the rest of the world.
Feet thumping like heavy rainfall,
bodies rushing around me
towards something - an end goal,
a vivid, visible finish line up ahead.

I'm shoved towards it
despite my heavy feet
chained down by a weight in my stomach
that lets out a muffled yell,
as if from underwater:
"Stay where you are!"

"I know," I tell the voice, "I know I'm supposed to,"
but it's drowned by the rain.
So I continue to be shoved around,
helpless,
as my stomach grows heavier
as the finish line dawns right before me.

I struggle with what little might I have to not cross the line
just yet.
I'm not ready.

My strength gives out and my left foot pushed forward,
followed by the rest of me.

It doesn't feel as bad as I thought it would,
to be where everyone else is:
past the finish line, into another new track
that would last another few hundred days
to finish.

The swarm of bodies are way ahead of me,
I notice,
and I sigh as I drag my feet
and the chains
and the weight.

Forward, forward,
knowing it was the only direction life granted us.

I talk to the moon about
the lovely things you say
Yes, I talk to her
almost everyday

Her light shines through my eyes
Into my heart and reveal
An ocean of love and dreams
Of fears and tears from my cries

Alone, I talk to the moon as if I’m talking to you
I tell the stars to guide me
I ask the clouds to fly me up
And let my love soar and be carried
By a gentle breeze

Because the moon and I,
We get along
We whisper about your loveliness
And sing a merry song

And the moon and I,
Are just like you and I,
I admire you
But you will never know that I do.

perhaps we start to realize
that we cannot keep floating.
our feet were always stuck
to the earth, where we belong

but we do not notice
until gravity defeats us,
when even our shoulders and backs
are pulled to the ground.

the feeling of the weighted blanket
not leaving as you set it aside
a silent morning alarm
gradually fading after sunrise
you question what there is to look forward to
the tunnel's other side
when you find yourself waking every dawn
beneath the dark, heavy sky