I love you in the future tense
in the crystal ball sense of the word
in that stupid silly daydream kind of way
I love you in the
"let's start something new; we could get it so right"
"come home to Christmas?"
"how could we do anything else when we fit this well?"
way

maybe this unfurling I feel is the future
or maybe it's my heart
saying
"maybe it's not too good to be true
maybe this time
maybe
maybe
maybe"

but you only had time for right now.

Your eyes hit me
like a bolt of lightning
and the fire we started
burned me to the ground.

It is not enough
to want to let someone
in

They must first
knock
on the door

How do I put into words
How it feels
To let go
And let you love me?
The delicious terror?
The rush of fear/joy/fear
That comes from that feeling
That somehow
This is to good
To be real?
How do I say
How much I want you?
The crush of lust
That leaves me breathless
Every. Single. Time.

yes, there was tequila, and
yes, the alcohol in my blood is
singing, but
I'm drunk on this weather;
the coolness making
your hands on my skin
that much warmer
the way your
eyes hold mine
as we learn each other
the joy that blooms
in the spot between my eyes
at the touch of your lips
the sound of your laugh
thrumming through
my ribcage,
we lean on each other
giggling because we
couldn't possibly do otherwise
the taste of you
in the morning
the way you call me
beautiful
and mean it

fall in love
with a man
who has time for you
and is capable of
loving you
back

fall in love with a man with arms like
beacons in the night
that promise safe harbor
with eyes that glint with
mirth and optimism
with hands that cannot
get enough of you
with a voice that soothes
with sturdy roots
and a healthy relationship
with his mother
with a man who understands pain
and understands that it doesn't last forever
and understands that joy is the same
who cherishes the tiny beautiful things
fall in love with a man who is thankful
and makes you laugh
that makes you feel welcome
that has stories to tell
and who listens to yours