Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Renae Apr 2014
Dull meaningless verbal abuse tries to strike me down, to put me in a box where the the other lifeless followers go blind
Renae Jun 2015
These are my last words
Just in case I go
Just in case for some reason
I am no longer there
Always remember this:
I hung on a long time
I tried so very hard
To live everyday
for you
I want you to know
Nothing meant more
to me
than your happiness
You were the very heart of me
My reason
You were the one thing
That kept me above it
The one and only why
I didn't want to quit
I love you
With every fiber of me
Please keep these
Last words
*Love, me
For my children
Renae Oct 2014
What is life without laughter
Do you know what I mean?
Let
Renae Mar 2018
Let
I let myself drown in you
I let myself go
I let my emotion take precedence
let nonsense take over
I have no one else to blame
Only I can control
Self
But I can't help myself
You are all I wanted
And the saddest thing
Is the more you refrain
The less I want to give
The farther apart we swim
Until we cannot find each other any longer
I cannot let you
Take me over
Renae Jun 2017
What irritates you most?
Rubs you wrong
Makes you cringe
Squint your eyes
Bite your lip
Don't express what's locked
Deep down inside
Reality tries to peek
It's ugly head
Take the cramped and jagged
Way up on the edge
Stay focused on your own two feet
Don't fall off the ledge
Steady now
Let the rain roll
Right off your back
Don't look back
Learn to say no
Let go
Renae Nov 2013
I am releasing my grip
from the unforeseen consequence
cornered choices of my yesteryears
Relaxing my shoulders
shake off the weight
past actions done in haste
no longer serpentine
wavering
back and forth with indecision
With one last exhale
drop the heavy burden
of worries
hear a loud crash
insecurities smash
Into pieces on the floor
Light as air now
take a step up
every motion I take,
mind is clear
I resolve to
place my best foot forward
with each step
Renae Jan 2014
Heavenly Father we are so grateful you gave
your son as a ransom in exchange for many
An example at everything, especially when he taught us how to pray to you when he said:

"Our Father in heaven
let your name be sanctified"


Jehovah is your great and powerful name

"Let your kingdom come"

No one else can compare to you
The master of heaven and creator of paradise
Nothing would be better than Your love
Your generosity, Your perfection

"Let your will be done as in heaven, also upon the earth"

When you cast Satan out you cleansed the heavens. Please bring peace to the earth as well.

"Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others"

Please help us to put forgiveness into practice so that we can be forgiven by you

"Bring us not into temptation, but deliver us from the wicked one"

It is all we need.
Renae Nov 2013
Liar how could you
Wreck love and laughter
Wreck happiness
Liar how could you
Blame innocence
Use insecurity as an excuse
Emotion to trap your prey
Use compliments as hooks
on this ground of which you play
Liar how could you?
Use your time to trick pure hearts
to ruin righteous people
and fill them full of scars
But you are a liar
life is unfairness
For you deny the truth
so your downfall is this...
Renae Jan 2018
As waves crash
over smooth
Steady surfaces
rocky shorelines
fragments of leaves,
twigs and twine
flowing backwards
Pulling, pushing
Like life
Uncontrollable
Flowing with waters
Crashing, floating, rushing
Breaking
Enduring
until it is swept away
Renae Sep 2014
Everything tends to end one day
In this all too temporary life

We suffer loss too often
Bringing leather skin to our bones
Shedding imperfections in silent rooms
Mourning lives in private

We arrive into this life alone
Only to build on relationships
Then we break when they break
Learning to persevere and grow

Never giving up
Vowing to never give in
We push ahead against the wind
Continuously fighting
Always enduring.....

Until the end
When we lay alone
Close our eyes in a lasting sleep
Some without hope of anything
Renae Nov 2014
Limp and still, there is no sign or signal
The whole world has ceased to exist
There is no such thing as time or work or worry because her life has become lifeless
Renae Feb 2020
Let him go play with her heart
Loosen your grip on his
He won't give
This tension is relentless
You're far too precious
don't shrink yourself
Into believing you're less
You're not a fraction of the best
He doesn't know how to love
Your head will stay a mess
Charisma isn't enough
Chemistry will pass
Being in bed isn't all you need
To make it last

A listener who cares
A love whose there,
More than pillow talk
more than lifeless stares
Someone who'll hold you
Through your tears
He picks you up and lights your fears
The journey is together
Connected so deep
when you speak
Commited to eachother
I help you, you help me
Make it last forever
This is something you keep
Relationships are between 2 hearts. Only 2
Renae Mar 2017
Alone isn't prison
Not when everyone needs you
You can be used for something
Nothing maybe you might need
But always for good use
Like a tool
Tools are lonely but useful
A lonely tool is a good thing
It can be put to good use
Until it is worn out and
Thrown away
Renae Dec 2013
I stared into the glossy eyes
of a stranger
A master illusionist is he
But they were your eyes
so I misunderstood it all
Renae Nov 2013
It lingers
Waiting for weakness to kick in
Laughing as we give in
Knowing our desires
Love
we all need...
Love
It's unfair
I want true love
Why does it always end in these games?
I may not ever understand it
Love
But I am made up of it
I am nothing but 100%
purely naive, gullible misunderstood
Love
Renae Oct 2014
How do we get it back
Once a moment has passed
Is it gone for always
Because we misunderstood
Do we keep on working at it
Or do we leave it alone
We should keep working
Because that is true LOVE
Renae Jan 2014
Starting with Dear,
no starting with Sweetheart,
no starting with Hello or maybe just your name,
I love you, didn't you know?  
I try so hard to tell you but you'll never read about it;
the secrets are in
love letters I'll never send.
I read them over and over again.
Sentiments like remember when and I'll always begin the outpour of  my undying emotion,
my confusion; my heart.
I am forever yours and always I will dream of your face. I believe in love, in sacred,
unadulterated, three fold chords that last beyond
and through the impossible.
My divine love, you hold it, you are my longing.
Until my fingers grow old, until my dying day,
you will be the only recipient
of the love letters I'll never send.
I regularly write out my feelings to my husband but never get the courage to send them. Separation is like the infection, divorce is the disease.
Renae Jul 2014
Lovers love lies
Renae Aug 2020
Love to me is not a whisper
It shouts from the rooftops
No
Love is not a secret
You place in your pocket
Love connects
Interacts
yearns for & craves
Love is always thinking
Of ways
For laughter to overturn
The frown
For respect to take the cake!
For oneness to accept
Forgive & forget...
Love
Conquers and saves
Renae May 2014
Madness spreads through me as I watch
all I wanted was a moment of my own
Silent still alone
Just a song maybe, to keep me company
I did not ask for this life
it was chosen for me
Me
Renae May 2014
Me
My eyes are simple, my hands are small
my legs are strong but they are not tall
I live and give often it keeps me full
I've given my heart to the greatest of all
My heart belongs to Jehovah
Renae Feb 2014
memories
they come and go
creeping up on me
light caressing
fingertips grace
every inch
breath in my ear
oil on bodies
candle lit
lavender scent
memories
Renae Sep 2016
Yesterday you showed me how I should of been
I walked beside you as you held my hand
It was only yesterday you pushed that strand of hair
away from my eyes and caressed the line of my face
The memory of your gaze waits for me around every corner
Like something I was supposed to pick up
I was supposed to keep
I must have put it away somewhere safe
Somewhere no one else would find it
Renae Aug 2017
Bravery is unexplainable
how can we possibly comprehend
Like in crisis
How adrenaline kicks in
unexpectedly muscles clench
And all of a sudden
Lifting a car no longer seems
Impossible...
Infact pretty much anything is
Possible
When your child's in trouble
All of a sudden
You have no choice
You have to be a hero
It's like your brain takes over
Your body just minds
Accomplishing a miracle
Renae Nov 2014
We see in others
what we see in ourselves
We are attracted
to our favorite things about ourselves
Treat others
with the same love you'd want in return
For we are all just mirrors
Renae Sep 2014
Tell me you want me
I can call you mine
Call me your boo
All of the time

Tell me Im beautiful
Look into my eyes
Make me believe
In all of your lies

Ignore me when I text
Ignore me
Give me mixed signals
Endlessly

Make me cry
Call me names
judge me as though
I am everything you say
Renae Feb 2014
Since money is all you want
Money is all you'll see
If money is all you love
then money is what you'll be
Money money money money
Money does not love you honey
Cause love cannot be bought
What happens when the money is gone
You'll be all alone and lost
Just remember you chose money
So money is what you got
You cannot buy your children's love and respect they will only feel entitled or like they owe you, it will never be from the heart.
Renae Sep 2016
Money cannot love you
Money cannot cry
Money cannot care
Money cannot try
Renae Feb 2014
I never thought
   you were a tree at all, much less a money tree
.   I saw you as my partner is all, someone to balance me
     Guess you didn't need me as much as I needed you
.   So now you interrupt me constantly, you love to make me blue, to crush and hurt and call me greedy to make me feel like I'm just needy to make me feel so incomplete So insignificant, So indiscreet. As though I somehow have a choice, as though I even had a voice
You cut me off  without a chance and leave me nothing but second hands, I scrimp and scrape
and gather together to afford gas in my
car & food on the table
yet in your revenge
To conquer me
to make me as
small as I can be
You toss some
pocket change
my way then
turn your back
  on me & tell
  everyone I must
  think you're
my money tree
Renae Aug 2014
Give me more than emotion
give me strength
Give me more than pleasure
give me encompassing support
Give me more than a line
show me trustworthiness
Give me more than words
give me actions
Renae Dec 2013
Of all the blessings life can bring
Nothing could mean more to me
Than to drink life's water free
The greatest blessing is eternity

Yes I'm planted like a tree
My trunk is thick my roots run deep
Drinking from a stream not the sea
I believe in more than you and me

It's so much more than eyes can see
Pure faith in honesty
It's a gift that sets men free
From all the hypocrisy

It's real; it's serious
leaders try to keep it mysterious
for pockets deep and minds delirious
hoping none make sense of the curios

But go ahead and hide from reality
Since it's more comfortable not to think
How sickening it would be
If this system were never ending

No one can hide from the truth
It will happen win or lose
Nothing can stop it from coming true
So it's our choice to choose

I choose life everlasting
Hope and understanding
I chose the gift that sets men free
I believe in more than you and me
Renae Jan 2014
I       would      like       to pick up the pieces

    I'd    create      a mosaic work of art   

  because

     trying     to fit  them       back together       won't work.      
      It would    show
                             every    flaw

      every line   /  every crack

It     would     show

just how broken

what should be one and whole  

The      glue

would goop up   

   & each piece       they'd

slowly

fall
                                           apart                                                 again

Only   this time  it       would

be
impossible
to

create         a       mosaic.
Renae Jun 2021
I've learned I'm entirely
broken...
into tiny fragments.
I don't attempt
to pick up my pieces,
slicing my skin on sharp egdes.
I sat long in the mirror examined my colors... outstanding
my shine, not gone
perhaps not broken.
I said to myself
"I don't need to perfectly fit"
Somehow I'm still beautiful,
sharp, impossible...
I suppose the only thing
left to do is..
proudly place my pieces in cement
Renae Aug 2014
If you have no sincere smile
to share with me

If your gut has never hurt out of
sheer laughter

If you cannot find a reason
or a tune to hum it all away

The silver lining in your life
has depleted

Don't run to me...

I would only regret
I could not change you
I dont want to be an option, I want to be the only one. Humor is an essential part of any relationship
Renae May 2014
The culture
Pow powpow pow!
Feet shuffle in the dust
the clatter of hollow instruments
filling the atmosphere
A fire burns, hands clap, voices ring
in the contagious sound of
Victory!

Pop's Sweet 16
Headphones are all she hears anymore
Romantic bliss in sweet melodies
playing over and over in her ears
Lost in emotion swept away in a dream
A fantasy

The dancer
Feel the beat
He moves his feet in perfect timing
lost in a world of his own, the audience
Is captured in his movements
they are astounded as he
Becomes one with the song

Soul singer
The story is in the emotion
The pain is related in sounds
The heart is caught up in the moment

The rock star
Rebel
Legend
"I am here! See me! I exist!"
A belief of independence
The attitude of rock

Roots**
Homegrown country
Family and faith
Roots make a man
or a woman
sing life like a story

Music is influence
"Music is the abstract art of arranging vocal or instrumental sounds in a manner that produces a flowing, unified, and thoughtful composition that has melody, harmony, rhythm, and timbre. In contrast to the other arts, music is not a readily tangible form of expression and is only validated when its sound patterns are skillfully interwoven into a format that is both evocative and appealing to the ears. Music may be called both, the most mathematical and the most abstract of the arts. Unlike words, pictorial images, or dance, however, musical tones in themselves have no concrete associations, and only gain meaning when they are combined into patterns. Through the centuries, various philosophers have attempted to integrate theories on the essence of music with their particular world views. Many non-Western cultures and some Western writers as well have perceived it as an inherently mystical force, able to unlock elemental truths or principles that cannot be translated into written or graphic form. Music is an important part of our lives, and has been an important part of every civilization known to man. It has been identified as the second category of sound a child relates to, after the voices of the parents. Throughout time, music has been an important means of displaying the ideas, experiences, and feelings of different societies and cultures." - blogspot music
Renae Jul 2014
If I had sheltered you
You might be everything
my parents ever wished of me
Then again
you might have turned into me
Renae May 2017
Sometimes I think I want to write a book about my dog. All the strange and quirky things he does. How he loves to sniff the backs of my legs after I've had a hard long workout at the gym or how when I snap my fingers he runs into his hotel of a crate, so good, so obediently. I always give him a treat for that. So I lock the door behind me only when I reach the car I remember something, like I left my coffee on the counter... so its back inside I go, only to find my dog Romeo... barking and crying at me like I've been gone and left him for days.  Oh my simply complex little mini poodle, cut like a lion, my darling doggie. A personality larger than life and a bark like a bear with no teeth. ♡♡♡
Renae Aug 2015
What should be now
Was here last week
When it's in the bank today
The offer's nowhere to be seen
When I don't have it I need it
When it's here, the need is gone

Still somewhere in the confusion
My dyslexic life goes on
Here's a good example,
Take a read why don't you
Peak into my life's lessons
Desperation sure as truth:

He told me his thoughts
He told me his dreams
He made me feel
Like I was the queen
I said "please be there for me
for what I must go through"
He said "I'm sorry
it's just bad timing,
I chose her over you "
Renae Feb 13
My ego is a part of me
It protects my self esteem
gives me ultra confidence
It can also make me mean
my ego can be seen as cruel  
It would be stupid for me not to see
My ego can be healthy,
be my downfall...
My ego decides my destiny
I have to check my ego
Ultimately
Because in the end,
my ego, can be the death of me.
Renae Apr 2014
I don't want you
I only want who you were
Renae May 2014
Torn to bits
Ripped to shreds
Smashed up and beaten
Left for dead
Renae Mar 2017
my heart is ******* in knots you know
each time I tried to let love in
"No!! Not again!!" It said
and twisted a new knot in
I don't believe I can get them out now
this last one, it's really too tight
It hurts my fingers when I try to pry
I tug and pull with all of my might
Now it's not just in knots
it's also all bruised
I think it's a hopeless endeavour
So I will go on with knots in my heart
For the rest of my life or forever
Renae May 2014
I know it's been years
Time is something we can never get back
Knowing you care is a comfort
Still, it's not enough to make me okay
Sometimes I wish you didn't care
That way I could stop loving you
When you're near I can't help myself
I lose my mind in sweet memories.
Smells, tastes, affections,
You showered me in moments
Moments that won't leave me
A caress on the small of my back
A gentle kiss on my neck
Lying against each other
A passionate embrace
during a romantic scene
Smiles of gratitude
Stares of love
I will never dwell on the misunderstanding
I will never love another
Not the way I loved you
I will not get over the way we fell apart
I know with time I will get stronger
Perhaps my heart will harden to stone
Perhaps I will forget eventually
With Jehovah's love I may rise above
I have already forgiven you
If only you were sorry
Renae Oct 2014
I will try my best
We all have loneliness
We come into this world
A boy or a girl
Alone and unsure
Of what we're looking for

It takes 30 years
Or maybe even longer
To find out just how strong
And what we really are
All the trials and tribulations
Insignificance and liberation
We experience it alone
Though we might have loved ones

Surrounded by people
Who make alone time more bearable
Knowing without them
Nothing would be sharable
We're born alone
We'll die alone
In between
We hope to find someone
Making us feel important
Renae Oct 2017
The only love I've ever known
I have never seen
The only ear that's ever listened
I've yet to hear him speak
But I know he speaks
Through pages I read
In moments
Experiences
I relive in memories
The only love I've never known
I talk to more than anyone
I talk about him too
The only love I'll ever want
I have yet to meet
But somehow I know I will
One day

That day is worth living for
To me it means everything
♡♡♡
Renae Oct 2014
Who am I to say how this will go
Or how that will turn out for anyone
I am no king with a sceptor
I am no queen on a lofty throne
Though I am no jester either
I am just peering into a holy law
I will find answers
I'll look into my own mirror
This shall suffice
I will place my focus
On the most necessary path
My own
Renae Jan 2017
If I had a peacock list
Of Narcissists
As far as it could go
At the very end
A line would read
*Choose one to be your beau
Renae Feb 2017
Please tell me
my crazy for you
Makes you smile
That my instantaneous
Is exciting!
My true friendship
Is comfort and hope
my emotion
Is **** feminine
Please tell me
My heart is pure gold

It doesn't matter
If I already know
You can say
I'm your kind of spontaneity
That I'm funny
Or silly or cruel
Please tell me you like me
Or better
you love me!
You already know I'm
Your fool

Maybe we'll never
Be anything
more than you and me
Friendship
Means everything
So please just tell me
This is never over
Renae Dec 2016
It isn't impossible for me
To shut it down
To be alone completely

Even in this crowded sea
I could die that way eventually
Only tears slide silently
Down my chin from rosey cheeks

You easily show me what would never be
You give me glimpses just to tease
So maybe I think I should die lonely
And no, it wouldn't bother me
Next page