My mother warned me about love when I was younger.
She told me that true love comes when you're older.
I didn't believe her because I thought that I was in love.
I thought that he was the one and that he would always
love me.

Now here we are three years later and I don't know my
emotions.
One moment he is this beautiful human being
And the next moment he's tearing me apart with his words.
He doesn't love me and I don't think I love him.
It's a battle between us, trying to be friends and then pushing
the other one away out of fear of falling again.

He doesn't know about the love letters that I write in my mind.
He'll never know about the countless texts I nearly sent him.
And I sure as hell know that he will never like me again
so why do I keep liking him?

Look at me
I SAID LOOK AT ME.
I want you to remember
every detail to my quite round face.
I want you to see
the glimmer in my eyes
as I tell you about a song I'm writing.
I want you to study
how your shirt looks on me,
and how tiny it makes me.
I want you to stay,
but if you're going to leave then
remember me.
I need you to remember me even if it kills
you and me.

Fear; the fear of losing you.
You were like this superhero,
this superhero that had kept me alive for
so long.
You were exiting the front door and I just stayed here.
I couldn't stop you and maybe that's what broke me,
the fact that I couldn't convince you to stay.
Now I could only hope that I could remember you;
to remember the way you laughed when I said something stupid,
the way you were always there with a hug,
the way that you smelled after a shower,
or the way that your arms fit perfectly around my waist.
I would probably forget these things,
but maybe I could also forget
losing you.

I don't remember the first time my love came for you.
All I remember are the times I just wanted to hold you.
When you were the only one that could make me happy.
All I still know is that's still the same.

Too many washed up lies.
Too many sleepless nights
All I needed was a friend
But you turned into a
Nightmare
Right when I needed you

There was a point in time where you would've told me I would be in love.
I would ask questions like; why, how, why, with who?
The basic questions, and you would reply with "a celebrity."
I would find it silly and say that you were lying.
Now I see that there are certain celebrities that set you up for failure.
You fall in love with them and just become enchanted by them, but in the end they'll never love you.
And I believe that's what still gets me, that the person I love will never love me back.

Holding my breath as a child
Was so difficult.
I use to cheat
And pretend that I
Wasn’t breathing when I was.
Growing up is like that.
Seeing who can survive the longest
Without a breath, but we’re all cheating.
And in the end
No one going to win.

Standing in a place
unaware of the people
that could hurt you.

Standing at home
unaware of all
the battles within
the walls.

Standing in the bathroom
deciding on whether you
should stay alive.