It's not okay
to pull me aside
and tell me whose
wrong and right.

You ask questions
about when I realized
who I was
and what I want
to become,
when you shouldn't.

There's never really a time
you realize,
there's a time you stop
compressing
all of those thoughts and feelings.

You should feel
content
with me even telling you
who I am.
I don't need to explain
anything further,
but you claim I do.

I'm sick of every
GSA meeting being filled
with questions of my
gender and sexuality.
There's more to me.

You claim you know me,
but you don't.

You have no clue what
my favorite color is
or my favorite movie
or even know what I
love to read.

There's more to me
than a couple of titles.

You say that all you have
is your sexuality and gender,
that has to be a sad life.

I'm sorry that that's all you have.
But I have more.

I hate the word pretty.
Every time I hear it
it's a reminder that I am
a girl.

Girls are great
and there's nothing
wrong with them,
it's just that I'm not one.

I've been stuck
in this body
looking at someone who
I no longer recognize
for so long.

I want to be handsome and cute,
not pretty.

I at least deserve something better than
pretty.

I stare in the mirror
and nothing is right.

well not for me.

Girls tell me how
blessed
I am to have these curves,
and they don't realize
that I would give them up
in a second.

Boys don't have
*******,
slim shoulders,
delicate figures,
doe eyes,
or anything that I have.

I want to look in the mirror
and see the person that I truly am
staring back
at me.

But I'm stuck looking at
a small girl
that everyone says is
*pretty

Once I was the color blue.

The tears that fell down my cheeks,
my broken heart,
and my sadness
were the color blue
and I didn't know how to
change that.

Once I was color black.

I screamed at all times
out of anger that was
nonexistent.
I was a void who knew
how to make others
feel blue,
and I wanted to change that.

Once I was the color yellow.

I was happy with myself
and I knew that the sadness
wasn't gone,
but the blue was.
I knew that the anger was
somewhere deep inside of me,
but I knew that I wasn't
a void anymore.

I'm no longer a color.*

I am nothing,
I can be who I need to be
without having to label myself.
Once you're a color,
you'll always be that color,
but the color won't always be you.

You left me after you promised
you wouldn't.

You called me a child,
told me to grow up,
told me that I was never good
enough.

I don't know why I held you in my heart
or why I thought that you could love me,
but I did.

I was foolish I admit,
but there had to have been a time
when I looked like the sun
in your eyes.

There must of been a time
where my texts
made you grin
and maybe you loved me.

The past is the past,
I know those words from a
Disney character,
but that's all you have to say.

I wouldn't be so angry
if you had just told me
that I wasn't for you anymore,
that we just weren't right.

You had to go
kiss her,
love her,
forget me.

You forgot me so much
that my name was
foreign on your lips.

She laughed out of victory,
while I stared at you
looking for something left
in the boy I once knew.

The sun hits my skin
and I feel the burning
sensation.

I've never known as a summer
as hot as this one.
Where people go outside
and it feel like it's
105 degrees.

You claimed you like hot girls,
am I hot enough for you now?
With my sweaty appearance
and the way I faint from
dehydration.

You laugh at my jokes
and you pet my wet hair,
you tell me that it's
going to be alright,
but I know it's not.

You're going to leave
in a year,
not even that long.
You're going to become
a college student and
explore the world
while I'll still be
a junior in
high school.

I don't want to hold you back,
it's the last thing I
honestly want to do.

What I want to do
is sing to you
and tell you how cute
you are.
I also want to write
romantic poems for you,
but this one isn't one you'd like.

This is me finally
telling myself
that we're over.
Sure,
I ended it to keep myself
safe,
but I still liked you
for the longest time after.

I'm done now,
I've moved on and
I hope you've done the same.

A heart laid on the floor,
millions of pieces shattered
and you didn't take second
glance at it.

My eyes were full of tears
and my chest was empty.
What did I do?

I ran away with you,
I felt something for you,
I gave my everything for you.

What I didn't realize is that
you were in the arms of
someone who didn't love you.

Maybe it was the fact was that
you loved someone that
wasn't me.

I didn't know how to cope
on being presented as
your partner in crime
and then all the sudden
you were in love with
someone else.

So as you walked away from
my shattered heart,
I tried to walk closer to you.

But you told me that the moment
someone shatters
they can't be anything to
you.