I took photographs of you and me
as we embarked upon a journey.

Music blasted through the speakers
and the windows broke from me throwing out my sneakers.

We weren't happy anymore and you knew it.
I had to take the stand and break it off before we couldn't.

Now you hate me more than anyone you know,
but get over yourself and please just grow.

And I'm sorry that I can't love you,
but I've never been able to love anyone besides a couple few.

The sunshine feels delightful
Upon my pale skin.

I feel the energy race through me
Like when I used to run with
My father as a kid.

I'm happy now.
I'm better now.
I'm me now.

I used to hate my reflection
But now I adore the way
My pale skin seems to grow
Freckles.
Or the way my eyes are
Asymmetrical and the color of dirt.
The way my hair has a mind of it's own.
That still bothers me
But I've grown to find it humorous.

I've grown to love my flaws
And I don't know if this is what self love is
But it's beautiful.

I'm beautiful.

I miss you.
I didn't know I could,
but I'm that I'm here alone,
I know I can.

I listen to sad love songs
because they don't remind me
of you.
You were too upbeat and complained
that romance and sadness
just weren't for you.

You were a story teller,
told me how a sad pathetic girl
could actually be loved,
but not by you.

I didn't think I could miss you
because you never missed me.
It's been two months
and I've just started to miss you
and maybe it's because you
started to miss me too.

My mind is shattered
as emotion tries
to conquer all of
my being.

My mind is malfunctioning
as depression slowly
overtakes it and makes me
believe that I cannot
do anything
correctly.

My voice is lost
when I see you
leave
because I'm
not what you wanted.

You didn't want some
broken person who
cries when their gender
isn't what is considered
normal some days.

You didn't want some
sad person who
screams at everyone
when life gets
tough.

You didn't want someone
like me,
you honestly just didn't want
me

"Beauty is an
adjective
not a person."

A quote my mother
told me when
I said I wasn't
beautiful.

But when I met
you,
I believed that
my mother
was wrong.

Beauty isn't just
an adjective,
it was you.
You were beauty
and this
is not a
pick up line.

Your face was
pretty,
but what made
you beautiful
was your
soul.

Bitterness consumes me
like how you used to hug,
arms around the throat
about to choke

You do not understand
that she will leave
while I had stayed
but now once she
leaves
you will be alone.

Because you think that
you're in love;
you believe she's the
one
but she'll tear your insides out
like the next will in due
time.

So you're alone
and you're cold,
no where to run
and no where to go.

Who are you going to call to
come get you?

Don't fall in love with me.
I will tear you
to bits and pieces
with love, affection, and
poetry.

I'll tell you how
beautiful you look,
and when you ask
"How do I look beautiful"
I'll say
"Well darling, I must get going now."

I'll leave you breathless
in kisses
because you'll never want
to stop but
I'm already in my car
ready to go.

Don't fall in love with me
because I'll become
a female version of
John Green.

I'll write you poetry and
make you the love interest
in my novels,
but there's a reason why I
never finish anything.

I'll fall out of love,
love is boring
and when you
fall in love with me
I'll become uninterested
because I can't chase you
anymore.

It's all in the chase,
because I like getting
what I deserve
but when I get it,
it's not what I wanted.