I am not the man you marry.
Not at all!

I've never had a good job
I've never owned a nice car
and I don’t buy dinner.

Your mother will hate the way I dress
your father won’t trust me
and your girlfriends won’t ever be impressed
that you got me because

I am not the man you marry.
Not at all!

I drink too much
I smoke too many cigarettes
and I like to get high sometimes.

You’re right to think I’m crazy
you’re wrong to think I’ll ever stop being so
and if you ever thought you could change me
than you’re two cans short of a six pack because

I am not the man you marry.
Not at all!

I’ll make you nervous
I’ll make you uncertain about your beliefs
and I won’t ever apologize for being me.

You'll cry
you'll hurt
and you’ll try
to make it work because

I am the man you love
but I am not the man you marry.

Magic**

Read this to yourself.
Read it silently.
Don’t move your lips.
Don’t make a sound?
Listen to yourself.
Listen without hearing anything.
What a wonderfully weird thing, huh?

NOW MAKE THIS PART LOUD!
SCREAM IT IN YOUR MIND!
DROWN EVERYTHING OUT.
Now, hear a whisper.
A tiny whisper.

Now, read this next line in your best crotchety old man voice:

“Hello there sonny, does this town have a post office?”

Awesome! Who was that?
Whose voice was that?
Certainly not yours.

How do you do that?
How!?

Must be magic!!

Not every caterpillar
wants to become a moth or a butterfly.
Not every snowflake or drop of rain
wants to fall from the sky.
Not every petal of every flower
wants to tilt its face towards the sun.
Not every second of every day
wants to die the second it's begun.

I walked into class
The students all turned their heads
Do they smell my ****?

you can bomb a country to pieces,
but you can't bomb a country to peace.