Depression is like waking up sick, everyday since the last time that you could remember. You carry around the cure, in the unkempt form of your mind.

you're trying to blame me for what happened between us, saying i broke your heart, but don't you remember? the last time i saw you, you told me you'd give me space, but the only space i wanted was the universe within your mind.

fernweh is a german word that means to be a homesick for a place you've never been, so i wonder what you call missing someone who was never yours.

i saw you in the moon

it was comforting. most people attribute their
       (eternity)
special someone to the sun. you were never that for me.
you were many countless, irreplaceable, unknown qualities
that i wanted. none of them were glaringly obvious.
besides, i am never in the light.
i am always in the dark.
       (the deep and lovely dark)
i am never lost there. i never needed a star to guide me home –
i was home already.
what i wanted
       (craved)
was the steady presence to remind me
that i was not alone.
the moon is always there, you know – even when you can’t see it.
so, i look up as night falls
       (that black curtain sweeping down, down)
and hope you’re somewhere
       (happy)
nearby, looking at that round rock in the blackness,
outshining all the rest.
i know it’s not a star, but i make a wish anyway:
your name
       (a prayer, whispered)
followed by three little words.