but behind closed doors


i’m a fool for your love

-

now look what you've done

the girl next to me is talking.
she says her happiness goes down with the temperature
everyone else repeats these words like a forged signature.
but hot air never stopped my shivering.
for me, it comes without a warning sign.

My lips are to the paper.
I inhale and exhale tiny coughs.

For a moment, I'm a gypsy.
but I stand still.
I stop myself from moving from where I am
Because I'm happy,
My surroundings become stale.

I press the pen to the paper
I breathe in shaky breaths,
And wonder why
My head feels so loose.
I wonder how
I can act like I feel so alive,
And feel absolutely nothing.

I stop myself from thinking
By pressing my lips against a bottle sometimes
I need the sadness just to know I'm alive.

We were on cloud nine,
You called me sunshine,
but that was when
you were mine.

Our love reminds me of fireworks.
We were so pretty and bright,
but we ended in the blink of an eye.
And before i could take a picture,
you went away.

Give me hope,
and something to hold on to.
Give me the rope,
because this one is ripping in two.
Now all I see is blue,
I'm falling through.
So give me hope.