How could I feel this pain
It does not belong to me
How could I cry over someone's death
When we have never crossed paths
Who does this heart belong to
Someone familiar I suppose
That one I love dearly
To the point of no return
Your sadness hits me more than my own
Oh lord I don't want no cure anymore
I'd rather be in the deepest of sores
Then see you laugh
To know I'm still alive
And this pain is for a good cause
For that's the only way I'll have a chance
To pass life by
Or else put my tomb on any ground
And watch as I die

August 24, 2015, 3:47 AM

I believe I drink more tea than alcoholics drink alcohol
And it makes me drunk
In its own way
And I fear it would ruin my teeth
The way alcoholics fear it would ruin their liver
But we drink it anyway
Until the damage is too clear to ignore
I look at the mirror and see how terrible my teeth have become
As an alcoholic holds his stomach in pain
And we both go for another glass

Like those who have gotten too accustomed to the heat
That cold sickens them and weakens their bones
You have become a part of me
After you I'm a rotten soul

My life decisions that have been made rest somewhere in my head for me to rethink them whenever I'm able to
The things I have never done and the reasons behind my paralyzation to do them and every possibility of a life led by doing all the things I ever wanted to do
The life of acting on my thoughts, the life of showing emotion, the life of existing outside the walls of my own head
But I am imprisoned by my own self which makes the equation of freedom impossible
Because if one of my hands tried to free me of my misery the other would pull me down and pull the rope around my wrists tighter than before
As with every thought that tries to let me act and exist just to find another opposing thought destroying all that it has been preparing for
The struggle of fighting your own self is you could never win or lose
Whoever wins loses at the same time, and whoever loses somehow wins
For you don't know whose side have you been taking and who you were battling against
And you have to live in between
Never getting the satisfaction and freedom of living without holding anything back
Nor being able to live with the silence undisturbed
And so you stand in the middle paralyzed
Until one day the rope is pulled too tightly around your neck
Turning you blue
And the fight ends with both of you losing
Or winning.