don't save me

this is
merely
another sunset

(i'll rise)

so we know that it won't stop raining
we're stuck in the broad basketball yard
heart thumping hard like a bassline
i feel lost; you won't taste the rain

and we knew it rained hard a year ago,
locked our existences under sobbing clouds
nothing was worse than being under a roof
and i felt found despite the bad lighting

all that you are is the last bits of hope-
the ones to blame in times of despair,
endorphin sprinkled on a void
uncontrollable glitches on a perfection

clenched teeth,
sweaty palms
high-pitched voice,
monotone talks

all you hear is untried wishes
and throwaway dreams
fresh regrets,
and cosmic what if's

all that you are is my last bits of hope
and this is a love like hospital prayers

here comes the part;
where i scream my flooded lungs out
gibberish that only makes sense to me
and clear words that you won't listen

and i pressed the mute button

you're never fond of complications
and i'm tired of being tangled
you're a believer of "silence is golden"
and i'm tired of being glittery

catch the remote controller
you're gonna like me someday

i tried to tangle with your ends because i thought you were different (than me). i didn't know i was fighting a law of physics when i gravitate towards your skin. we're not supposed to be such a ball of threads yet i'm trying to entangle from your effortless force.

*tl;dr: you were a clear lake and i probably was just trying to love myself. loved you instead.