one. ****. she'll make you curse a lot.
that's all that'll roll off your tounge everytime you'd want to describe how she makes you feel.

two. that girl is funny. i don't think you can have a bad day if she's around. i don't even think she'll try to make you laugh, i think with her it comes naturally.

three. she'll make you feel alive. you will want to experience it all with no one else but her. she'll keep you at a high you'd never reach on your own. DON'T bring her down with you when you hit rock bottom. DON'T drag her with you anywhere she doesn't belong.

four. she'll sometimes be out of reach. more like, most times. let her be. she deserves all your time. all your days and nights. but only if she asks for it. you should a l w a y s check up on her, though. (ask how her day went. ask her how she's feeling.) make sure her "i'm okay" is sincere. make sure her days are more than just "fine".

five. listen to her. she'll always have something to say about everything, but she won't always say it. listen to her. let her talk about everything she wants to talk about. talk about it with her. i doubt you'll ever have enough of her.

six. when she doesn't want to talk, don't ask her to. be comfortably silent with her when she needs some quiet, but make sure your presence is loud. don't ever make her feel alone.

seven. she's special. treat her like she is. you should n e v e r let her second guess what she means to you. you should n e v e r make her rethink your love for her.

eight. don't go through one day without telling her you love her. she won't believe you, but you should never stop reminding her. she doesn't have to feel what you feel back, but she has to acknowledge that someone out there has her on their mind, day and night. always let her know she's important.

nine. she can be stubborn, and at most times she will be. i have a love/hate relationship with that quality of hers. let her have her own way. don't bug her about her choices. but, keep in mind there's nothing wrong with not agreeing with her sometimes.

ten. don't hurt her. not because she's fragile, but because she doesn't deserve it. for ***** sake, she deserves more than you can ever offer.  and for that, you should give her your all. or at least you should keep trying to

eleven. don't just tell her you trust her, but also show her you do. she won't take your word for it. let her in. open up. spill your heart out to her, and know she'll have her arms wide open. she won't let you seep through.

twelve. she's passionate. i can imagine her eyes gleaming when she talks about what she loves. you can feel it through your phone screen. i'll hunt you down and feed on your flesh if you try to shut her up. yes, she is passionate, but not about most things. and she won't talk about it with everyone. so you better ******* listen when she tries to share this part of herself with you. or leave. ******* leave her if you won't love her right.

thirteen. she's smart as ****. not the lame, "i get good grades" kinda smart. but the kind, that never fails to blow my mind. treasure her brain.

fourteen. i've never seen someone who wants to read as much as she does, but has zero willpower to. read to her. read to her like i've always wanted to, but never got the chance to. whether it be prose or fiction, or some fact you read off the newspaper. never stop reading to her.

fifteen. please, never lie to her. don't make promises you can't keep. you'll lose her. ****. if you lost her, you would lose all that could make your life meaningful.

sixteen. don't give up on her. please, never give up on her. she's not always easy to deal with, and neither are you. but to god, she's worth it. she's worth all of it.

seventeen. you'll never love her more than i do. but you sure as **** need to try your ******* best to make sure you're never the reason behind any of her troubles. don't **** up. don't **** up like i did.

your voice; it envelopes me.
emotions,
so evident.
so much expression from speech you don't express in.
words never mean as much before you speak them.
ah, you're one articulate *******.
words are only of meaning when you use them.
                                                             speak to me.
tell me about your fears, and i'll tell you how i only feel brave with you by my side.
                                                          ­   speak to me.
tell me all that goes through your mind. i've never loved hearing someone's thoughts so much before.
                                                             speak to me.
i want to know what you love the most. talk to me about your mom. your brother's dog. talk to me about which sibiling you'd prefer to talk to when there's no one else home. then, define home. tell me about all your favorites. i have them memorized unconsiously.  what keeps your blood racing? tell me. tell me, i want to listen. i want to know how you've grown to be so beautiful.
                                                      ­       speak to me.
i want to know what you hate the most.
tell me about those behind your undying rage; those behind your anger. so i can burn them to ashes.
                                                         ­    speak to me.
talk to me about what overwhelms you the most. what emotion drains you? i want to know whether it's despodency or hollowness that cripples you. is it both? i want to know whether you fall in-between self-hatred and self-love or on either end of both. in other words, are you aware that you're ethereal.
                                                      ­       speak to me.
i'd love to hear your voice again. tell me more.

I shut my eyes,
Willing my thoughts away.
I take a step back,
Though I truly wish to stay.
But what will I do?
While his sight remains blocked.
Tell him I love him?
No. That must remain locked.
For though what we have is strong,
There's a crack in our base.
So I will remain silent.
With a placid smile on my face.

I bet you didn’t realize that most of the things I told you I hadn’t told anyone, and still haven’t. I know that I didn’t end up telling you a lot of things, because I knew that telling you would be admitting to myself that everything I said was real. but now that you’re gone I can’t help but wonder that if I had told you this, then maybe you would have stayed. or if I had told you that, then maybe you would have just ended up leaving with more parts of me than you already have. I don’t believe that I’ll ever truly be able to be myself again, or at least my old self because of you. almost all of the old parts of me were shared with you and now I’ll never be able to get them back. So thanks for stealing everything that I was..

A warm coffee mug
A shot made of blue
A blanket gives a hug
A poem rings true
The day is long
You’d think I’d get a clue
My heart gives a tug
When I think of you
These poems get longer
Though the words stay the same
As I’m left to wonder
Why you’re so far away
Yet it’s still a good morning
It’s still a good day
Because you’ve read this poem
And know I’m not going away ;)