I woke up this-morning
feeling like I didn't
belong here.

And it took
every ounce of me
to convince myself
that I should stay...

Getting
out of bed
shouldn't be the
hardest part
of any day.

Rain drops and cold wind
Cold wind that never stopped
Cold body to warmth in need
Dark fell, when light is red

Love is lost, to hope has begged
To head my heart to home I loved
Home ahead? What is home?
It’s a word, to brain has fed

Home to live? I just know!
It's a life, I could’ve lived
Now it’s not how I remember
Now it’s dark, now it’s wrecked

It has doors can’t be open
It had charm now it’s missed
It had soul but it’s broken
This can’t be the home I loved

October 20th, 2010

suddenly the dawning breaks
Full Sun;
I relate to worn and creased
Faces;
Much more than I realised.
And now nothing will be the same.

Haunched like a faun, he hooed
From grove of moon-glint and fen-frost
Until all owls in the twigged forest
Flapped black to look and brood
On the call this man made.

No sound but a drunken coot
Lurching home along river bank.
Stars hung water-sunk, so a rank
Of double star-eyes lit
Boughs where those owls sat.

An arena of yellow eyes
Watched the changing shape he cut,
Saw hoof harden from foot, saw sprout
Goat-horns.  Marked how god rose
And galloped woodward in that guise.

Her voice is a demon
I search for it in hell.

I fight the wrong demons
As she destroys my mind.

I take control of it
Before she controls me.

Her voice is in my deepest memories.
I try to forget her only to remember.

Her voice is a demon
I still search for it in hell.