"What if he'll break your heart?" My best friend asked.

"What if your heart shatters down into pieces and you don't know what to do anymore?"  My sister asked.

"What if someday, I will hurt you?" He asked.

"I don't have a heart."
I replied.

Too many** eyes watching
Too many ears listening
Too many ideals capsizing
Too many thoughts sinking...
And dreams drowning.

Too many drops fallen
Too many smiles forsaken
Too many times beaten
Too many hearts left shaken...
And promises broken.

Too many questions asked
Too many answers hidden
Too many faces masked
Too many hands bitten...
And people forgotten.

Too many words said
Too many pacts fade
Too many boundaries laid
Too many rules made...
And games played.

Too many secrets entombed
Too many feelings consumed
Too many ill thoughts bloomed
Too many enemies groomed...
And hate campaigns resumed.

Too many...
A plethora too many
Too many...
We choose not to see
Too many...
Taken far too lightly
Too many...
There's just *too many,
too many...

Words define me by people who shouldn’t matter
and of those who do matter.
Friends, family, strangers, bullies.
I live in the shadow of their words,
pinned down by their dictionary of hateful words.

These words squash me
squeezing so tight tears roll down my face.
They cocoon me in self consciousness,
self loathing and feeling of worthlessness.

They grate at my skin
wearing me down.
Few comments here and there
shaking my sanity.
They pierce all previous thoughts of myself
and burn holes in my mind.

I know they,
their words,
shouldn't matter but can you blame me
when everyone in my life
constantly puts me down.
Sometimes on purpose, sometimes by accident.

Its the accidents that make me self destructive.
You think your being nice by telling me,
I can’t have a snack as you think I should stop eating so much
because my clothes look a bit tight this week.
You say your being kind, trying to help me out

but it  k i l l s  me  i n s i d e  and  o u t.

I was asked, why do I write and all I could think of to say,
was because I believe.

I believe looks matter.
There is
healing in a look of compassion,
love in understanding,
comfort in tears cried with me.

But one look away, ignoring
can break a heart.


I believe touch matters.
There is
care enclosed in a hug,
relief in a hand placed on a shoulder,
encouragement in a touch on the passing by.

But pulling away, distance
can break a heart.


I believe words matter.
There is
acceptance in words of forgiveness,
restoration in mercy and grace,
healing in kind, soothing whispers.

But one word out of bitterness, hatred
can break a person.


I write because I believe words matter.
I write because I believe you matter.

Sometimes it takes
thousands of words
to heal a broken soul

and I want to tell you,

I will write
word after word,
paragraph after paragraph,
page after page.
As long as it takes,
I will write until you finally believe
that you matter.