When my glance meets his stare
I am lost in his eyes.
I panick, burned by the intensity,
And dart my own eyes to the side.
Longing to reach out and trace the lines of his shadowed face out of pure wonder
With my pale, trembling fingers.
Wishing in that same moment,
That I am inside his arms
Where I am home, and steady and at peace.
But when he reaches for me, I begin to tremble, out of fear, the fear of my own heart.
And when I pull away, and my frozen stare meets his burning one,
My mind goes blank and my breathing stops.

I care too much.
I really do.
I care about
you
and her
and him
and them
I care about life.
I care so much
that I neglect myself
I neglect my wants
my needs.
I have been providing so much light for others,
that I have let my world grow dark.
I am too busy feeding other people compliments,
that I have left myself starving.
I can't decide
who matters more.
I worry about being conceded
so I discard myself completely.
I care too much

All the damages done
which are  huge in magnitude,
constant repairs need to be run
by efforts taken with right attitude

The impact an event has on us
takes time to settle the dust
Like after being run over by a bus
months of treatment becomes a must

It takes a day to plough the field
for a healthy plant to sow a seed.
Plenty of water for a fulfilling yield
and a season of patience brings what you need.

No, I don't want to leave you.
I never want to leave you.
But I want to leave this.
Because I don't know what it is anymore.

I am being tortured by choice.
I have screamed until not even the slightest whimper can escape my lips.
And I lie there silent, telling myself
That it's fine.
I want this.
Don't I?
I shake there violently
Waiting for some reprieve,
While knowing all the while that it will never come.
I sit there, shivering.
Surrounded by unwanted emotions and
Waiting patiently for the next blow against my pale, fragile spine.