i was going to say we're like spilled milk and we're crying over each others remnants and then i was going to say we're like black cups of coffee because there's something in our element that ignites something inside of us but i think we're more like knocked over, broken shots of ***** because though we've made a mess of ourselves we're still licking the alcohol off the ******* bar even though glass shards are transfixing our tongues

the train tracks are empty. I don't know how often one comes. I'd like to say that I've been holding myself together with twine and bits of soil and concrete. I'm barefoot and I've found an array of glass bottles littered over the edges of the track.
All I need is a little warmth which is odd considering it's in the middle of summer and the scorching rays are burning my skin. Everything else seems illegible compared to your eyes and nothing looks real anymore.
I want you to know that when a train comes barreling through these tracks, I will face it with as much faith as I can bear.
I once promised you that I would try and I am trying but I can't cough out the words lodged in my throat because, I think, I've kept them there for too long now. I did promise you that I would try but does it really matter all that much now?
I can hear the train coming - this looks like a nice spot to settle.
I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to do this on my own. I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to look past the lost tenderness that used to grace your eyes.
It's ridiculous really, because I haven't met you yet and there's still an ache in my chestfrom when you left.
I don't know how to do this without you. I don't know how to use the memories of your lack of existence to help myself move from this spot.
I can see the lights approaching.
Please understand. Please understand that I had to do this. Please understand that I had to do this for the sake of my sanity and I can't imagine moving away from these train tracks just to wake up tomorrow to remember that I do not know what it feels like to have loved and be loved by the ghost of you.
Please, I beg of you, forgive me for my past transgressions and forgive me for not being able to quell the pain of never knowing you.
I can hear it now. I can hear the pistons and the rumble of the tracks.
I'll take my leave.
And maybe, if I'm lucky, you'll never realize I was here in the first place.

I continue to lay in bed
Regardless of the lack of sleep it brings me
Hoping that someday my body will feel comforted enough to fall into a slumber
As if the bags under my eyes
And the stiffness of my muscles
Weren't enough to let my body know it's time to rest
If only my mind would stop running
Then maybe I could feel tranquil
But the anxiety I experience is sharp
And my thoughts cannot feel peace

It was the middle of summer
When we first met
I fell fast and hard
And yet

You never saw it
Ignored it, rather
I did everything I could
To make us matter

But your eyes were set
On that perfect little miss
And by the end of summer
You had your first kiss.

I'm crushed,maimed
Seriously injured
Crucio-d,if you will
I knew I was never yours
But it hurt you

Led me on
You knew how I felt
I was your friend
But not friend enough

It's summer again
I'm healed on the outside
But there's a blade with your name
Piercing my heart

Every single day

i want to be yours
just not a part of you
i want to be whole
one with you

i want to be yours
i want to be able
to attach the word
"mine" to your name

i long to be yours
just like the sun longs
for the earth
holding on in a constant balance

i long to defy the will
of the law
against the sins
of love

i long to
feel the warmth
of our hearts
becoming one...

like two hearts
exchanging blood,
feeling the pulse against
yours

love always eternal.

(b.d.s)

As we lay here,
Lost in our melodic laughs.
I can't help but stare into your eyes.
I can see galaxies hidden into them.
I get this overwhelming urge to move closer,
I want to know you,
I need to know you.
Your smell reminds me of soft flowers,
Its more addictive than *******,
And I swear I'm getting higher than an astronaut could ever dream.
I have always been a lover of the night,
But your smile captivates me more than the moon and all the stars ever could.
So as I'm walkin in the dark tonight,
Looking up at the moon,
The only thought on my mind is you.
So as I'm singing loud,
I sound like a wolf howling to the moon.
For I know that I am an animal,
And anything I touch with my teeth,
I will surely destroy..
So I know I must let you go,
But I will still sing to you at twilight,
With the hope lifting my heavy heart,
That you might hear my song to you..
~P.S.

Remember
my body is not your temple
do not worship there
I am not a deity
I am not a holy place
I have many sins, many scars, many demons

My heart is not your home
You have no claim
Learning the secrets I have locked away in darkest corners of my person is a privilege
Do not take my willingness to let you explore me for granted

My love is a gift
it is wrapped in the battered letters that I wrote to my last lover before he left the shattered remains of my heart behind in a wooden box
Be gentle when you unwrap what is left of me
I have only just begun putting myself back together