To find the love
Of the one I loved
Those many times before

To acknowledge my child
That I lost to the thoughts
Perceived there in my mind

To see the needs
As the numbness withdraws
For the power that they bring

To make new days of past
To see those gone
But know they do not control

To the one I loved
That I shall once more
The light now bright and sparking

To find the love
Of the one I loved
Those many times once more.

What I needed
Was to be me.
The child I am,
To give him what he needs.
To love,
To be loved.
To laugh at life's calamity,
To slap a thigh at its slapstick.
To not get in its way,
To not step aside,
To be with it.
As me.
I needed to be me.
I need to be me.

Intelligence brings an arrogance
A desire to control
All that which surrounds us
Seems to impact on our soul

Intelligence brings the logic
A method to make sense
But often leaves its mark
When emotion tries to vent

Intelligence brings the knowledge
Emotion was here first
Love will over power all
This is not our curse.

If I can't say that I tried
When my hair's no longer black.
If I curl up and hide
Fixated with looking back.
If you close the door behind you
With the choice no longer shared.
Will I miss you, my darling
You of which I am so scared.

If I do not continue to explore
Will the mind simply forget.
If I choose to close the door
With unwanted decision set.
If you do not share the feeling
That which has brought me to this place.
Will I miss you, my darling
You that understands my space.

If by fate it is intended
That the heart shall be set free.
If decisions of the past
Lead to a different tree.
If desire starts to wain
Then apart it is to be.
Will I miss you, my darling
You that set me free.

Then it must be strong and true
For love is all that matters
That is unless you need a poo.

Maybe the last waking in a place known.
The strongest feeling of love felt and shown.
Reading stories in the tiny bed.
I'll dry your tears, she said.

So this is heartbreak.
The core, an earthquake.
Remember the reason.
This is but the first season.

With fear in the head, but strength in the heart.
With a tear in the eye, but light in the dark.
The next step soon to arrive.
The journey to be more than just alive.

Entering the grey
Guided only by confusion
A sense of growing stronger
As the distant light flickers
Maybe brighter than before

A tale of experience
A guide of truth now present
Arrival of the confidence
As the distant light flickers
Now surer than before

An intention misunderstood
A new found truth of feeling
Appearance of the passion
As the distant light flickers
Different from before.

Feeling brave.
Feeling scared.
Do I, Don't I.
Am I prepared.

Does He, Does She.
Will I ever know.
What will happen.
Which way should I go.

Swaying between thoughts.
Feeling all at sea.
Whatever road I take,
it must lead to me.

Wither and die.
Strengthen and grow.
Remain constant.
Go with the flow.

Move with the times.
Change its course.
Be loved or loathed.
Return to its source.

Solve the problems.
Bring problems to solve.
Bring you joy.
Amend as we evolve.

Wanting to know.
Wanting to understand.
Longing to hold your hand.

Common interest.
Common ground.
Liking how that sounds.

Likes and dislikes.
Friends and foes.
How do we want this story to go?

Something to fear?
Something to embrace?
Or is it just all part of the chase?