I wish you were here, You *******.
I want to beat you up so bad
For all that you have done
Then I want to cuddle you close
Because I miss you.

I want to see you cry so badly
Because I want you to feel what I feel
But I will kiss your eyes and hold you tight
When you are asleep
Because I still love you.

I want to **** you so bad
Because you do not deserve to live after all that you have done
But I will be by your grave every second of my remaining days
because I will be missing you madly, truly, deeply.

I want to throw you into the darkness
Because i want you to live the way I am living
And will always be living
But I will slowly glow for you
Because I still want to be your light.

I want to see you bleed so badly
Because you drained all the blood in my heart, killing me.
Maybe after that we can be ghosts together
Invisible and in love.

Only you, colossal idiot, can break me and hurt me this bad
And it should be mutual
So I will protect you from everything else
But myself.

Feels like you.

Or a whiskey bottle.

Two things.

I get drunk on too often.

The times when our hearts interlace their deepest roots.

That's when I feel the most sober.

When your voice is the honesty I swallow.

That's when I feel the most sober.

The times your eyes promise me an upside down future that you flipped right side up.

That's when I feel most sober.

I want to be sober every moment with you. Because you are my finest form of inebriation.

I want to be your forest fire.

I want to burn down all the good in you.

Everyone needs a fresh start at some point.

There are wars that still go on
Battles not yet over.
And though you may not see,
Everyday gets colder

Fighting all these demons
I buried deep inside
Yearning to escape me,
Forcing me to hide

No one really knows
The thoughts that fill my head
Because I choose not to show them,
I put a fake smile on instead.

My friends all think they know me
But none of them  really do
So I turn to pen and paper
In hopes it will get me through

I'm weary and I'm tired
From all the fighting done.
When all I want to do is just
Stop, get up and run.

But still my war goes on
My battle is not yet over.
And you probably may not see it
My everyday gets colder

-V