Oh my gosh... confession time.
When I was married and he was married--we were both married, get it? Anyway, I started working for him on projects. Pretty soon, I got the feeling that he was just making up reasons to hire me.
There was no mistaking the chemistry the first time we were alone in the elevator together. It was just the way he looked at me. He had boundaries, but something else in his eyes had me captivated. I went back to his place of business over and over to do more work.
Once, in a meeting with the project team, I sat next to him. I had my notepad in my lap and was taking notes. Someone said something and I asked him for clarification. What I got was his hand tracing a diagram on the notepad in my lap. The diagram ended up with his finger pointing in the direction my crotch--all because he was explaining "how things worked."
Pretty soon, he invited me to share, with he and his friends, a certain sport. Well, I tried it and really enjoyed it. Fell in love with the sport really. As a group we would go out every weekend. A couple of times he and I went alone. One of those times we were in the woods together, alone practicing this particular sport. Actually for climbing you always go out into the woods somewhere, so that's not out of the ordinary.
He wanted to boulder by himself for a while and I just didn't enjoy it. So (and this is summer time so we were dressed minimaly) he takes off his shirt and starts out on one rock, while I sat back to wait. By this time the chemistry had built up to incredible near chreshendo (sp?). And I was just watching him, his muscular back and arms. It got so that I had to lie face down on the rock to cool my body off. He knew the whole time that I was watching him.
When he was done, we went off down the trail to find the perfect spot to ascend. Suddenly, he stopped and said, "look at that bird over there." Of course, I didn't see any bird and asked, "where?" He started pointing and then I realized... (you know how you have to line yourself up to see something someone else sees?) I realized then that he was trying to get me to come closer to him.
I did. We ended up about six inches apart. Both of us breathing heavily. Had we not been married, or maybe because we were married, all we would have to do is turn our heads and that would have been the end of it. I couldn't live with that on my hands--his and my marriage in jepoardy. So I stepped away... I wonder now if that was a good idea. Oh, the temptation. And on top of all that, we were both from a religious family.
Now that I'm not married any more, I often think of looking him up and calling him.
Do you all think I should? I wonder if he would remember.
my life
my life
my life