beady eyes
intent on watching my every move,
continuously following me
as i pace around the room
and it is dark,
for i cannot see
but i know these beady eyes are staring at me.

please let me run,
i am dying under the care of my so called feelings,
they tear me apart
and make me feel as if i’m not me-
maybe i never was?

why do you look so blue,
tell me,
what is bothering you?
a lovely pure soul i wish was left untouched
was groped inappropriately
by the hands of toxicity and hatred of others
but she continues to emit light
to this dark lonely life of mine,
not quite thriving yet she is still alive.
she may not believe but she is my everything,
i look at her with eyes only full of love and admiration,
i am an awe as she stares back at me-
i see these sparkles in her eyes like no other
and she still smiles widely
through the waves of pain,
this is why i love you
but please remember,
i am always here.

why is it that
when i do not spend time with you,
i feel so empty?

i smile at the thought of you
but cry too,
why is it always you?
why is it only you?