I was sitting outside the house at dawn
Having a quiet smoke,
I’m never allowed to smoke inside
And I’m just a quiet bloke,
I watched the first few friendly rays
Of the sun, rise over the town,
But then it grew dark, I watched amazed
As the sun went slowly down.
So dark, as black as a midden
And I truly felt alarmed,
Our cockerel ran in a circle, then
Fell down, was somehow charmed.
Surely the earth had not reversed,
But my senses said it had,
And when my chair went floating,
Then I knew that the news was bad.
Everything that was not tied down
Had slowly begun to rise,
Even my car and the outside bar
Hovered before my eyes,
I suddenly felt as light as air
And I had to grab a pole,
While the neighbour’s mobile home took off
And left behind a hole.
I made my way to the bedroom then,
It was doing in my head,
And there was the wife, still sound asleep
Floating above the bed,
The quilt and blankets were floating too
And I tried to hold them down,
‘I didn’t think that you cared,’ she said
As she woke, with a puzzled frown.
The problem lasted for seven hours
While we floated round inside,
I made my way to the ceiling light
And repaired the one that died.
The milk flew off from the cereal
And the toast popped up to the roof,
‘You see, the earth has reversed,’ I said,
‘If you need it, there’s the proof!’
The news was coming in fits and starts
From the station in the town,
While men were bracing beneath the desk
Just to hold the anchor down,
‘A giant comet has hit the earth
And has spun it in reverse,
They say that it’s only temporary,
Still, it could be worse.’
At midday, there was a glimmer of light
As the sun began to rise,
The furniture settled down again
And we saw familiar skies,
But the seven hours that we lost will be
Quarantined from time,
Unless we want to be rising as
The Noonday bells will chime.
And one thing that was a certainty
We’ll never trust again,
We said, ‘As sure as the sun comes up…’
But that was way back when.
And now I notice our cockerel
Can’t seem to sing a note,
Since ever its doodle-doodle-****
Came backwards from its throat.
David Lewis Paget