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Jun 16 · 70
Made to Live
I was
made
to
conquer life
to seek new creatures
to fail and
cry

I tried to think
I'm better
off
Just laying
down
and losing

hope
amour
the jest of it

But I just couldn't


RESIST


For this
is
how I was made
to live it all

until the


FIN
Jun 7 · 368
Misty Nights
I don't feel...

like me

I don't see

the light at the end

of the tunnel. I usually 

do

Now it's just 

fog
Jun 3 · 115
New York, Good Morning
I am awake.


Blood's rushing through
My eyes
They make me whole
I was in deep, deep


Deep slumber, but

The sunlight'***** me and
I'm going home

To New York
Where beasts are made
And fantasies come bearing

gifts and utter losses, but
it's exactly why we thrive

We **** heads and shout at peace
The traffic at 45th street
hot dog stands filled with dreams
Lonely writer in her sweats

Coffee shops and yoga pants
people who live in zombie land

But, don't you worry my dear
New York
I'm awake now
Lemme hear you roar
Jun 3 · 173
Critical Deadline
We're running as if
there's an end to this
a point where we say goodbye

When all it is is a cycle
we'll continue to rewrite

Learn, move on, don't redo
mistakes of dear old self
or you'll be left with nothing


but your own dreadful regrets
You open your eyes at dawn
with body glued to floor
getting up takes all might
"Can I still proceed to fight?"

One tumble to the side
Maybe
I'll go to loo and wee

Then you wonder what for
Life just seems an endless bore

You tried before, you really did
To make something, make someone feel
Or maybe you just tried to make you think
"At least I'm still someone who bleeds"

The hurt, the pain, they run so deep
Bandaids, the meds, and doctors' ****
Don't and cannot make amends
to this superficial, nonsensical graze

But why do I feel it
the body crumbles, I can't stand
or think aloud
I speak to them, these faceless masks
And no one hears me shout

"Somebody, someone!"
I feel to die
If I end it here, then I guess there's that

A fin to all these hopeless heartaches
WEAK mind and heart
I couldn't care less

And then a voice, a subtle one
That kid in me tells telling signs

It said, "Accept the sadness,
Embrace it.
There's hope for light if you seek it."

That child with endless possibilities
It looked at the world with awe
It took the hands of many
and helped others be whole
It didn't demand ransom,
no expectations from life
It thought I'd got so much in me
These all need to get out

Feels like It has figured it all out,
How sad that that *was
me
Can I still see It? Can I still be free?






Yes, you see, I never left
I didn't get away
We can still rally the rounds and
paint the town red
We can scour the treasures of the land
And be pirates for a day
Because, my love, I never left
You just forgot me since that May
May 31 · 70
Box of Surprises
Don't put me in these
four corners
Labels you set on stone

You'll never really understand me
'til you pick me up
And take me home

I'm 5D in Imax
You'll need those special shades

And with it, you still won't get me
for I'm just that complex

I guess that's why there's an avenue
For a side of me you'll "know"

A little sneak peek, a preview
And that's all I'll care to show
May 31 · 88
Words Were All I Had
I didn't have connections
Or neighbors in Fancy street
No extra classes in music or artistry

No relatives who helped my starving family
None of those kind of charities

There was no push, no secret
I didn't have those
But He gave me this one simple cord

All I had, from beginning of time
From when I can remember
Were words and lines

A BA KA DA
I  start to read
Then start to write, indeed

Then learned how words spoke to me
To each other, and to those who read

I never had anything in this life,
But with a paper and a pen
I will survive

For all I really had were words

A stream of them and I'll conquer the world
An ode to writers and poets
I used to rush at everything
I rush at every line

Want it now, need it soon
The dates and time combine

I do despair when it doesn't come
As speedy, as accurately

My timeline, my needs!
Oh, my necessities!

But someone reminded me
of how Life isn't a fair game
If I don't enjoy the slow moments
I'd really lose with shame

Shame, because every moment,
every raindrop has its course
It takes a thousand hours to build the clouds
to bring up a push of sorts

Then that HO2 hits the ground
And as they say, "When it rains, it pours."
By then, with hope, you'll be less lost
and a little more than "found"
May 31 · 75
Sun, Flower
I begged to see the rainbow,
& the flower in you whispered,
"Ma, I want one."

You see, you seek, you believed in me
The purity of dignity

No qualms about what sins I had
None of those sheepish eyes
The neighbors give
when I bore you in my tubby tummy

One prayer I said to Him had come
I just didn't know how bright
it'd be to hold you in my arms
So much that I'm blinded within

Just know that Ma's got ancestry,
Ambitions, sorrows, and certainty

Though Ma's got all these lion eyes
One thing's unchanging

You have been the Sun in a life
that's devoid of autumn's bloom
I knew I picked
this day to rest
For a part of it is true

Someday we'd all be
Something grand, someone
they'd rally to

It'll be a part of memory
a clip to look back to

I'd say, "Oh, how
we used to be so bland,
but hopelessly hopeful"

Then, smirking, I added,
With no doubt and remorse

"T'was because we knew
this day would come as NOW
when we hoped this as tomorrow."
May 31 · 180
That One Choice
To stumble by thousands
The legions of failure
following your footsteps
wherever you go

The shackles were given
before you could speak
and nothing is permanent
'til your will says it so

You follow a path
of nobody's design
No blueprint, not witnesses
'Til you're up in the limelight

But you chose this, you did
When the heavens were broken
and your wings were clipped

You said, "Father, I want to see
how I will live, imprint a legacy
how I can defy the odds on me
how my weak body can cause catastrophe

Anomaly in the midst of suburban
An island that floats by the edge a plant
a little bee with that one solo wing

Confused you ask, "Why am I thee?"

And the answer reflects back,

"Because remember, you chose to be me."
May 31 · 141
The People of Courage
Where there are ruins
there's hope for a new day

Where the crying mother lies
are children of power

The world revolves around a vicious cycle
But the people of Courage will continually

break

The barriers
The Opposition
The Unjust
and the Unruly

Because, and this doesn't need repeating,

Love and hope always win.
Nov 2018 · 132
Dreams of You
Pat Villaceran Nov 2018
I saw you there
again

The hazy, dark and
conspicuous

Wallowing in
nostalgia
On dead possibilities
alone

I made a picture
of what we'll be
on how we'll seem
to when we see

That it's all just
a lie
we tell our minds
a story
our souls will never believe

I tried to
say goodbye
To let it go but I'll

still, be left with haziness
the Blurry Scenes
of far nights

No holding on
None left on my sleeves

then, eventually
and finally
I'll just be left with no you
in my dreams
Nov 2018 · 93
Lone Wolf, the Brave
Pat Villaceran Nov 2018
You walk the fiery
Depths of hell
The scorching crumbs
Of hardened fire

It burns your sole
The skin, the pain
And the tears
Fall down your eyes

They say the useless
Things but none
That'd tether your
Own will

For you will seek
The valleys and the mountains
Deep within
Oct 2018 · 235
Seven Different Lives
Pat Villaceran Oct 2018
She's queen of the desert,
peasant of the land
At night when the wolf howls,
she'd be Mother of Nile

At times when the heat kills
She fought for the light
A warrior in darkness, the
hope of the man

Her strength is as fiery
As the madman's eyes
that the Concord dictates
she's the beast immortal

Nobody thought to challenge
her reign, nor tried
to understand how
her plans were made

But everyone envies
to the core of their hearts
Some even sided
with devils' betrayal

Everyone wonders how
she got her Crown
Who made it possible
her defeating these odds

Nobody knew she's but
a slave in the wars
the one that smells,
with the bruises and the scars

No one knew her pirate
woes. The solitude
and the silent crows

But those moorish
Nights that saw it all
They took the pain, the screams
The fall

The academe & politicos
knew her too
Asked why'd she disappear
too far, too soon?

What's curious is that
she didn't know at
all, the lives she lived
had made her whole

It was probably fate or God
or faith, but she lives
the lives of her
seven tales
Pat Villaceran. All rights reserved. © 2018.
Oct 2018 · 264
Tic Toc
Pat Villaceran Oct 2018
Time is effervescent
It's rigid and slow
A construct of
the mind and an ally
of the world.

Humans journey not through
time but within it. We're late
and early and we rally against it
always

Because we know it's eternal
and we are not
© PAT VILLACERAN. 2018. All rights reserved.
Pat Villaceran Aug 2018
The warrior born and bred in wars know too well when the battle is about to happen. The warrior has a gut feeling when the storm is about to hit. Most especially, the warrior understands what is at stake when she enters the battlefield.

She does not go to war empty handed. She goes to field every single day and let the wind, the wild and the nomads hit and bruise her skin. At the end of the day, she goes home tired, hungry and exhausted. But, the experience keeps her alive. It makes her yearn for tomorrow knowing that it will be a new day to take on the challenge again and improve.

Day to day she feeds her mind with the knowledge of the mountains. She listens to the legends and the expands her thoughts with the whispers from the sky. Steadily she grows and sees how she is changing. She understands the world better and she is slowly unraveling the truth.

Time passes. As her strength grew, the tribulations came. It was as if it is fate’s response to the growing powers in the land. It tests her with skin-deep marks. Fate interferes because it does not award the word great and legend to not just anyone.

“Everyone can go to the field and watch the crows try for a ****. Some can move forward and **** the crows themselves, so then they become winners. But, very few…only the selected ones really get up after I slash them and claim that throne,” Fate exclaimed.

Fate was intelligent. It was impertinent and strong. A simple wound patch would not suffice. If the warrior needs to heal, it would take willpower to do so. She needs to put the strength of her heart on the line. This is the most vulnerable, but most powerful, weapon she has.

The problem is, Fate knows that. It knows how to attack the heart to tear it to pieces. It knows how to denounce ones identity that it succumbs to fear and doubt.

And so fear and doubt they are.

She recognizes them and started conversing. With their lengthy talks and echoes, they deliver messages of defeat. They ****** her with the allures of peace.

“How beautiful it is to be in a land so vast and rich that you will no longer have to think of hurting, suffering and pain? How would you like a place with peace,” they said.
But this illusion they speak of is a lame narrative to defeat the warrior even before she heads out to battle. If only she knew.

She started to listen.

What if they were right? Wouldn’t it be nice to lay low and live this simple life? What I am really after? Is this really for my happiness? Am I not made to live in peace? Wouldn’t I be happier and safer this way?
WHO AM I ANYWAY?
She forgot. Fear and Doubt slowly engrosses her. It felt safe. It felt as if someone was protecting her from what’s ‘outside’. Then, slowly, she is beginning to fade.

But, before she loses sight of what her reality is…before she completely disconnects with what she has known all her life, she heard a thumping from her heart.

It was a feeling.

It was a plea.

She paused. She tries to remember. At first, it felt like seeing someone else from a window. It was like watching a show. She recognizes a face so familiar she felt connected with the character. She tries to get up and reach for light, but Fear and Doubt persisted.

Don’t go back. You are safer here. You will never be hurt again.
But, for some reason, she cannot shake off this feeling of curiosity. It was her nature. She was made this way.

Who is this person? What am I watching? Why am I seeing this?
Then it hit her.

I AM.
She began to realize she was losing her essence with Doubt and Fear. She saw the trick. She understood that she was played by Fate and that she was being tested. She hesitated for a bit. Fear and Doubt were strong but she pulled back.

I AM INVINCIBLE.
She realized that she was watching herself. She was the one who killed the crows, the one who slaughtered the monsters in the field, the one with the big battle scars. She was the warrior who protected the angels. The warrior is she.

From her knelt-down stature, she began rising up. Her chin was high as the sky as she reached out for her weapon. She felt the bruises, the scars and the open wounds. That moment, she also felt her strongest weapon being attacked. She knew what Fate was trying to do. So she closes her eyes and tried to fix her shredded heart.

It was humiliated, degraded, stepped on. It was betrayed and slit in pieces by the people she trusted the most. Tears came flowing in. She wondered how she came to this.

But her soul was strong. She began facing Fear and Doubt. She looked them in the eye and told them to shut down. Her piercing stares do not need words. They were cornered by their own tricks. Fear and Doubt began fearing her.Until the next moment, they were just a speckle in her way.

She has seen battles before. She knows she is in one. The warrior stood up and roared.

I AM A WARRIOR & I WILL WIN THIS WAR.
I am not vying for great or legend.
I AM GREAT. I AM A LEGEND.
So, Fate, bring the thunderstorms and let them hit me hard. Because whatever happens, nothing will change.
I AM GREAT. I AM LEGEND.
— The Warrior
Pat Villaceran. © 2018.
Aug 2018 · 81
I Conquer
Pat Villaceran Aug 2018
I used to feel that creeping sting,
that monstrous darkness along
the corridors of my deepest fears
But then I learned how I would be
if Peace has won within
Yes, there are uncertainties
but they come with my introspection
That life is just a path ahead
Moving on with no
discretion. No rally on time
and space; no rationality, just candor
Instead of being left behind, I plan to dominate
and conquer
Pat Villaceran. All rights reserved. © 2018
Aug 2018 · 197
CLOSER
Pat Villaceran Aug 2018
When the crevices starts
To blend in
As the sun
Starts to rise

I see the light
In all the rubbles
Standing upon Rome
I seize the land

Phoenix's tale is
True at last
Prophecy from a
Thousand isles

They say she wins
The war, she brings
It home. With fire & fury
She's done it all
Published at https://medium.com/pats-literary-corner/closer-3ee9daeb8d41.
Pat Villaceran. All rights reserved. © 2018

— The End —