"The number you have dialled
Is  no longer in service."

How those words
Rung in my head
When you had left;
It hurt

How it lingered
On my tongue,
The tongue that once knew
Your name; so familiar

You were that number
And you had disappeared
Appeared once in my life
To leave and never come back

You were like a soul
Wandering,
Searching,
Losing her way

You thought that
You found your light --
The light that you needed--
In me

How foolish was I?
To believe that we --
In the hopes of forever --
were something permanent

"The number you have dialled"
Those words that came from my mouth
"Is no longer in service"
Are words that are, now, out of my reach

Never to return;
Never to reappear;
Never to exist

Not once more.

----------------------------------------------------------­---------------------------------
"How are you?" she had asked. I answered her with the words that lingered in my mind. Because, just like you, I was no longer in reach

Sometimes I just want to
**** myself, just so I can see
the world unravel itself,
to see all the people I love
get the news and lose feeling in their knees
and drop to the floor, or silently cry to themselves at lunch
or think about me whenever they hear or see a certain thing,
reminding themselves of an inside joke we once had.
To imagine those who disrespected,
took advantage
and carelessly stomped over our relationship like a hardwood floor--
as if I was ever stable enough to hold up the both of us--
let the merciless furry of regret scorch them and melt them from
the inside out, like acid on skin,
wishing that maybe they'd
shown how much they appreciated me,
instead of showing true to the prophecy:
You don't know what you have until it's gone.
Maybe I want this because I long to be the center of attention,
or maybe because I'm curious.
Or maybe because I just want the world to suffer.