why do you control me?
i am free
i am me
yet you're the one controlling me

the pain i had
i heard her voice
"i love you"
i noticed:
they belonged together

i love him
he loves her
i want him
he always wants her
she is perfection
i'm just me

Perfection;
That's what you are to me
You're all I really think about
I miss you, though I never had you
I love you
I wish you the best
You could do better than me anyways
Compared to you, I'm nothing

Why would I be something I am not?
Why get my hopes up?
There is no point
Maybe I am
We do not know

Not many understand but I want them to
I want them to know
How you make me feel
Restricting
Bingeing
Purging
Counting
Please understand what I'm going through
I want to talk
And you to listen
You are my best friend
But you make me feel this way
Why me?

I pretend sometimes
to be happy
it's very tiring
sometimes I don't try
a real smile
upon my face
happy thoughts in my mind
excited for the day
to be alive
no more pretending.

You sleep as I kneel
over the toilet
Letting everything out
I need to be empty
Empty is pure
Pure is good
You eat as I restrict myself
You don't know

You and I are miles apart
Passed thousands of streams
Down thousands of streets
Despite the difference
My heart always finds yours
My heart only belongs to you
and only you
I love you