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levi eden r Sep 2019
his name was luis.

i met him when i was in sixth grade, he was in eighth.

the first time we talked was when he apologized for him accidentally bumping into me on the bus after school.
right then, right there,
beautiful.

he had long hair and wore band tees and in my book,
that was everything.

the short smile that he had on his face made me fall deeper.
i swear, i remember my breath being taken away when i first saw him.

love at first sight.
instagram : @heavenforecaster
levi eden r Sep 2019
you will not be my muse.
i won't let the hurt you've inflicted on me to be the base and formation of what i write
for i am done with writing about people who have pained me.

you will not be my muse.
  Sep 2019 levi eden r
g
to many, a four-lettered word
to me, a name (your name)
to many, a place
to me, a person (you)

can I go home yet?
please.
levi eden r Aug 2019
heaven.
light.
clouds.
flowers.
meadows.
you.
oh god,
You.

i think i'll die twice when i have you in my arms again.
your warmth will be enough to heal me again.
your warmth will be enough for me to forget about the life i lived before you and after you.

i'll tell you about the book i wrote.
giving you a copy and waiting to see your face when you read that it was all dedicated to you.

i'll tell you about my farm.
the apples i've grown,
the animals i saved and took care of,
never slaughtered.

i'll tell you about how i painted and wrote everyday.
that every room in my house was filled with canvases of everything beautiful you can imagine.
that my drawers were filled with papers and notebooks of poems about everything and nothing.

i'll tell you about the heartbreak.
how the past would creep up on me from time to time.
the boy who took my heart for a little bit before giving it back completely broken.

i'll tell you about my best friends and family.
the way their smiles saved my life over and over again.

i'll tell you about how i made it.
i lived my life and now i'm here,
with you.

heaven.
light.
clouds.
flowers.
meadows.
and you.
oh god,
You.
i miss you bub.

---

instagram: @awake6.23
twitter: @introadrift
levi eden r Aug 2019
god, the emptiness you gifted me and spoon fed me,
oh how i miss it.
how i miss knowing exactly how i felt,
how i miss how this emotion would fill me up like a water filling a glass.
never warm, always cold.
i dropped pieces of my heart in places that deserved it
and i gave some to people who i wanted to leave behind,
was going to leave behind.
thank you for that emptiness.
instagram : @awake6.23

twitter : @introadrift

--------------

title is a lyric from dear pianist by levi the poet
levi eden r Aug 2019
i told you about things i haven't even told my closest friend.
we met a few months ago and i told you about my parents,
about jake,
about heather,
about my fears and passions.
you held me close and i wrote you poems,
i wrote you melodies and butterflies that danced in the afternoon sky made me think of you.

but,
it all came crashing down.
slowly then all at once.
levi eden r Aug 2019
i began to eat again.
i haven't told anyone.
no one really noticed anyways.
my hands didn't shake or turn the small packet of goldfish around to see the calories.
i felt okay eating them.
i ate all of it.

getting home,
i feel hungry.
and now,
i eat.
without guilt, without shame.
no small voice in my head tells me how big i am or how disappointed i should be in myself.

i take a deep breath if the voice comes back,
close my eyes and chew.
chew until i feel okay to swallow.

today,
i'm eating.
and tomorrow,
i will again.
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