there are times when i feel like im walking on thin air
where i feel like i know im moving but i dont know how
my feet feel cemented to the ground but somehow im still going forward
even when im meant to be going backward
i wonder how i came to this conclusion
how the conclusion is that i need to end my life
i know thats what i want because i want to be free of all of these demons
theres so much wrong and im seeing blurry
everything has gone to black and white
all or nothing
live or die?

When I first met you, I saw this broken girl.
A girl who was in need of someone, someone that would be there for you.
You had been through so much pain and trouble.
Pain and trouble that broke you from the inside.
Inside was a suicidal girl, hurt and broken.

I was there for you just as a friend,
I lent you my ear, so you could speak,
I gave you all my attention,
I gave you all of my time, even more than I had.

You where broken and needed someone to talk to.
To me you spoke about all of your pains.
Pains that made you feel left and miserable.

You never saw me as a friend,
You saw me and was instantly in love,
You wanted me,
You claimed me.

Words spoken by you cause me pain.
Pain in my ears because of your past.
Your past hasn't been easy.
Easy wouldn't have described our lives.
Lives that where full of pain from the past.

You said that I was the one, keeping you a live,
You said that you needed me,
You said that you could open your heart to me,
You said that you where able to speak with me.

And here I am, broken from the inside.
Inside of me is pain and it hurts a lot.
A lot of thoughts of us, are triggered by daily things.
Things we did together, things you liked.

I am broken,
I am hurt,
I am suicidal,
I am feeling left a lone,
I am in need of your help,
I am in need of your love,
I am in need of you.

Inside of me is a suicidal boy, hurt and broken.
Pain and trouble caused by you broke me from the inside.
I have been through so much pain and trouble.
A boy who is in need of someone, someone like I have been.
When you left me, I became this broken boy.

I wish my life was a gift,
because then I would not open it
And give it to someone that actually will be happy with it.

But sadly it's not,
And do I have to live with this thought.

“You’re early” death finally says.
Tears slowly but surely run down my cheeks. I tell him I know
and he asks me what brought me here.
I tell him I think he knows.
My Cheeks are now a weary waterfall.
the thoughts I’ve come to know as true
finally fade to black, as
I forget the life that I can never take back.