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Jan 2019 · 170
come a little closer
Jan 2019 · 101
Untitled
Olivia W Jan 2019
i will never get over you
Jan 2019 · 68
i want you
Olivia W Jan 2019
i can never let you go
no matter how badly i can get hurt
you and your love is addicting
i have wanted you since the day i saw you
i will always love you
i want you baby
Jan 2019 · 67
thoughts 1
Olivia W Jan 2019
people just dont care bout me anymore. but its fine. i dont care bout me either
Jan 2019 · 85
would you love me
Olivia W Jan 2019
would you love me if i were skinnier?
would you love me if i were prettier?
would you love me if i were funnier?
would you love me if i was happy?
would you love me if i gave you everything??
because i can do anything you want me to
but what will never change is my love for you
i look at you and feel pain but love
its beautiful pain i guess
if you will love me like i love you
then i will be the happiest person in the universe
Jan 2019 · 70
Untitled
Olivia W Jan 2019
love is overrated
Jan 2019 · 74
song 1
Olivia W Jan 2019
my last made me feel like i would never try again
but when i saw you i felt something i never felt
come closer give you all my love
if you treat me right
baby ill give you everything
my last made me feel like i would never try again
but when i saw you i felt something i never felt
come closer give you all my love
if you treat me right
baby ill give you everything
come to me
i need to hear you need me like i need you
fall for me
i wanna know you feel how i feel for you now
before you baby i was numb
tryna pay but pouring up?
speaking fast but on a run
never wanna get caught up
now you're the one that im calling
swear to god i'll never forget
don't think i'm just talkin
im thinkin like a wallin?
????????
i need it you need it you need it you the most
now im hurtin im hurtin you and ghost?
promise im done with the last one i thought i loved
because she ain't you
my last made me feel like i would never try again
but when i saw you i felt something i never felt
come closer give you all my love
if you treat me right
baby ill give you everything
my last made me feel like i would never try again
but when i saw you i felt something i never felt
come closer give you all my love
if you treat me right
baby ill give you everything
come to me
i need to hear you need me like i need you
fall for me
i wanna know you feel how i feel for you now
?=idk
Jan 2019 · 51
psalm 34:18
Olivia W Jan 2019
the lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit
Jan 2019 · 71
use me
Olivia W Jan 2019
i know that you are using me
but i dont say anything
because i dont want you
to use somebody else
Jan 2019 · 427
quote 4
Olivia W Jan 2019
i only miss you when im breathing
Jan 2019 · 214
quote 3
Olivia W Jan 2019
i cried a lot because of you. i laughed a lot because of you. I believed in love because of you. And now im heartbroken because of you.
**** everything i thought i knew
Jan 2019 · 69
lost
Olivia W Jan 2019
would you love me if i killed someone for you?
Dec 2018 · 45
justin
Olivia W Dec 2018
you manipulated me
you hurt me
you broke me
but i still cared about you
even when you forced me into
a relationship with you
even when you relied on me
to talk you out of suicide
i still cared about you
you killed yourself
and blamed it on me
i understand why its my fault
i wasnt there for that few hours
you thought i left you for good
but in the end
you are gone
and i miss you
i miss the pain
i miss the chaos
sometimes i wish you were still alive
other times im glad youre out of my life
because overall
you broke me
Dec 2018 · 55
falling
Olivia W Dec 2018
my last made me feel like i was nothing
feel like i would never be good enough
but when i saw you
all those thoughts went away
before you i was broken
tell me you feel the same about me
promise you're the only one for me
ill give you all my love
Dec 2018 · 75
silence
Olivia W Dec 2018
my thoughts start to race
telling me to cut
to **** myself
telling me no one cares
that no one can love me
my mind is my biggest enemy
i let my mind win today
i cut
and i don't regret it
i missed the feeling
the problem is
i want more
i want deeper cuts
bigger scars
im sorry if i hurt you
but im not sorry for cutting
i need help
a way to feel better
when im alone
im okay when im around him
but hes not around all the time
when hes gone the thoughts come back
Dec 2018 · 97
quote 2
Olivia W Dec 2018
having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. it's the fear of failure, but no urge to be productive. it's wanting friends, but hate socializing. it's wanting to be alone, but not wanting to be lonely. it's feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb
Dec 2018 · 162
quote 1
Olivia W Dec 2018
"when someone you love so deeply treats you as if you were nothing, it's nearly impossible not to feel like you truly are nothing"
my mood
Dec 2018 · 154
love note 1
Olivia W Dec 2018
if i could give you everything i would in a heartbeat
Dec 2018 · 179
send help
Olivia W Dec 2018
im tired
done with working hard
all of it going unnoticed
going nowhere in this place
i want to leave
but the only way that will happen
is if i **** myself
float into nothing
let everyone forget about me
like they do when im around
im just nothing
im just done
the only reason im alive right now
is because of him
i dont know what to do anymore
Dec 2018 · 72
him
Olivia W Dec 2018
him
no matter how hard i try
i will never be able to stop loving you
every time i see you my heart melts
feeling all gooey inside
not knowing what to do
scared that if i mess up
you wont love me
i hope its different this time
so thats my feelings. i love him
Dec 2018 · 188
I am worth it
Olivia W Dec 2018
you can take away my self love
but you can't take away my worth.
I am worth more then the nights
I spent hearing your words
as I cried on the bathroom floor.
Your name is poison to my mouth,
but I still drink it.
But I will throw it up,
till the only word I know is my name.
I am more then you made me out to be.
You can't take away me from myself.
written by oliver
Nov 2018 · 67
objects
Olivia W Nov 2018
how could you use me like that
treat me like a piece of trash
like im nothing
you never cared about me did you
when you said you loved me
and that i dont have to worry bout you leaving
those were the lies our relationship was built on
did you ever care about me
was i just an object to you
promise me youll let her down slowly this time
got used and lied to for a month. i was fully committed to the relationship while he was just using me like a toy. the sad part is, i still love him
Nov 2018 · 404
false
Olivia W Nov 2018
you wont take my life away
i wont let you
yes you have my heart
but you threw it on the ground
and stomped on it
i will never forgive you for lying to me
saying you loved me when you didnt
it was fake
you played me
i knew the whole time
but a little part of me wanted to believe
that you loved me too
i got played again.. **** i will never learn.
Nov 2018 · 256
me
Olivia W Nov 2018
me
torn to pieces
thrown on the floor
stomped on
used
maniulated
lied to
when will you stop
doing this to me
its killing me inside
Oct 2018 · 45
death of me
Olivia W Oct 2018
we had a past
we had love
we had a future
but thats over now
i fell out of love
a while ago
i have someone else
dont **** yourself
because of me
that will **** me
the death of me
is the death of others
dont do it
pls
im trying to hold on
my best friend at home told me he want to **** himself and that was 4 days ago and i havent heard from him since. if he dies it will be my fault and i cant deal with that pain.
Oct 2018 · 151
stop
Olivia W Oct 2018
caring about what others think,
seeking innappropriate attention,
slitting your wrists open,
feeling like you have no one,
thinking you're not good enough,
acting like you're okay when you clearly aren't
because you are worthy
this is a poem that i really need to listen to. i feel like im alone and unworthy of everything good in my life and i need to learn that its not true. im beautiful anf i have an amazing personality, i just need to show it.     by the way, over thanksgiving im dying my hair blue and purple!!!
Oct 2018 · 73
grace
Olivia W Oct 2018
my best friend
youve never left
always loved me
for who i am
i will never forget
how you have treated me
being so kind and funny
being my role model
you have impacted
my life so much
you will forever be
my best friend
grace is the name of my best friend. she is soooo amazing and one of the funniest people i have ever met. i cant even explain how much i love her. i havent talked to her in person in almost 2 years. since ive been in treatment for 19 months its really hard to be able to talk to her bc im so far away. i miss her so much like i cant even start or else i will never finish. anyways, i love and miss her beyond explaination
Oct 2018 · 86
life is a game
Olivia W Oct 2018
death is waiting
wanting you to make the knot
putting a gun up to your head
swimming to the bottom
never coming up
cutting through the vein
just do it and
itll all be over
is life really worth it??
Oct 2018 · 185
real life
Olivia W Oct 2018
im tired and alone
i know ive grown
into this person
but things just seem to worsen
i hate who ive become
my feelings are numb
ive blocked everything out
what is life about
you always die in the end
so let death be your friend
hella suicidal
Oct 2018 · 310
blade
Olivia W Oct 2018
this blade im holding
is my only friend
never left me
helps me to feel better
i miss you
i miss the way you helped me
when everyone else left
ive lost everything
i will find you again
continuusly listening to broken by lund
Oct 2018 · 70
relief
Olivia W Oct 2018
sleeves up
blade out
wrists slit
no help
neck open
blood
relief
i just really want to die rn. im not going to i dont think but the urges are hella strong
Sep 2018 · 120
tears
Olivia W Sep 2018
i cant seem to forget
how you looked at me
it made me feel
light and floaty
why did you hurt me
did you have to lead me on
then toss me to the side
like a piece of trash
Sep 2018 · 117
crumbling
Olivia W Sep 2018
i know exactly how it feels
to have your heart
ripped out of your chest
to feel numb and broken
its hard to feel
you push everything down
so you dont have to feel anymore
im sorry i did that to you
ending was really bad sorry
Sep 2018 · 108
her
Olivia W Sep 2018
her
i want to look like her
gorgeous
wanted
loved
skinny
she looks so happy
with friends by her side
to stand up for her
to stop bad things from happening to her
why cant i have that?..
so my school is going to print my poetry and put it around school and i have no idea what to write bc most of my poetry is NOT appropriate so if yall have any feedback for me, pls help.if you have a favorite pls tell me so i can pick which one to let the school print.
Aug 2018 · 181
depression
Olivia W Aug 2018
Do you even care?
Everytime i came to you
Pushing me away
Right when i needed you most
Easily hurt by you
Stop torturing me
Stop using me
Im done getting hurt
Optimism is no longer real
Never trusting you again
Aug 2018 · 463
magic
Olivia W Aug 2018
get a blade
tear your skin
watch the blood
dripping down
cut some more
over and over
same cycle
all day, everyday
itll never stop
Aug 2018 · 140
my love protects
Olivia W Aug 2018
dont be afraid
ill protect you
ill love you til the end
i will never hurt you
i will always be there for you
i promised myself i would help others
because i never got it
i spent days just longing for help, anyone to just come and pick me up from rock bottom. it never happened so i promised myself that no matter what happens, i will help people.
Aug 2018 · 94
flightless
Olivia W Aug 2018
im an angel whose wings have been plucked
an angel who lost her halo
i grew into the darkness called depression
because of this darkness
i hated myself
still do
i wish i could die
i wish i could be loved
i wish i was free
the truth is
it will never happen
being in treatment is very hard. you lose all your freedom, friends, family. i miss selfharm and goin out by myself and driving around, listening to music. losing myself in the stars. i want to do that again. i dont liek having to follow all these rules not being able to do what i want. it *****.
Aug 2018 · 127
blood rose
Olivia W Aug 2018
stars in the sky
moon on the water
you're on the grass
alone
cry til you cant feel
scream til your throat's raw
no one around to hear the pain
go to the edge of the water
jump in the water
swim to the bottom
sit
let the water fill your lungs
life is a game
that you will never win
dont go up
let it all be over
so my middle name is rose and i did all of this ****, hoping i would die and that no one would save me. sadly in real life someone did save me. it was my best friend. i didnt know she was around but she was. she jumped in after me and brought me to the grass and saved me. i want to be loved like real love, romantic love. i just dont see that playing into my life
Aug 2018 · 104
that kind of life
Olivia W Aug 2018
why cant i look like the other girls
the girls that are wanted and happy
i want to be pretty
i want love
love like what you see in movies
hold my hand
pull me close
wipe away my tears
hug me from behind
i want to live that kind of life
where i dont need alcohol to be happy
where i dont have to tear open my arms to get rid of pain
where i dont need *** to fit in
where i dont need drugs to be accepted
but that wont happen
at least for me
life will always be cruel nd unfair
thats the life i live
i just want to be loved for who i am
Aug 2018 · 985
fallen angel
Olivia W Aug 2018
there's this girl
she's never really had friends
bullied her whole life
never accepted for herself
people hated who she was
she learned to hate herself at such a young age
learned about selfharm
tried it, loved it
felt so good
to let out the pain
started drowning herself
slitting her wrists 'til she blacks out
starves herself to be skinny
all of this to be accepted
people take advantage of her kindness
use her as a rebound
trick her into loving them
then leave once they get what they want
that girl
she's me
Aug 2018 · 92
Broken Mirror
Olivia W Aug 2018
locked bathroom so no one can save you
blast your music to block everyone out
to block out their comments and critisism
grab the blades
all of them
cut
cut til you cant feel anymore
til you have no more visible skin left
you look in the mirror
see a fat, ugly, annoying girl
thats what everyone else sees too
drown yourself in the bath tub
slit your wrists
do anything to get rid of the pain
what else can you do
no one knows
they just hate you
so you hate yourself
you hate this world
you hate everything
so you say
"goodbye"

— The End —