"I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor.
That's my dream. It's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering,
along the edge of a straight razor … and surviving."
–  Col. Kurtz, Apocalypse Now
~

Remember
the golden age, Wally ***?
And the songs
my mother taught me?

We sang about what was.
Or might never be.

Like permanency.
Distinction comes
out of stiff and frozen silences.
Take it with
a spoonful of disdain.
Take it in the eye.
Actors are like breakfast cereals.
They're obvious
and according to taste.
I stopped needing them
long ago.

Beautiful
Tallulah.
Beautiful,
"less to this than
meets the eye"
Tallulah,
dismiss me,
that I may be free
to find Tennessee.

Open windows
and closing doors.
Always a breeze,
but never a way out.
Right on cue
the cards shuffle.

Butter and cotton *****,
tricks of the trade.
I mumble to be heard.
I am legend
to disciples
of the Method.

I wear my friends to bed,
burn them like newspaper.
They call me "Bud"
—cigarettes at dawn
after devouring the night.
And now my song ebbs,
as the stylus hits the leadout groove.

Tomorrow, I'll be better.
Today, I'm just me.

My skin has melted
in the shape of your core
and I move
like a shadow
right beside you.

She wakes in the morning
And climbs up the stairs
In the grey dawn pretends
She’s the only one there

She stands under water
And hides in its brace
Letting it burn her skin
Away from this place

She opens the door but
She keeps her eyes closed
She can't read the truth
Etched into the windows

She’s alone in a crowd
And she chooses to be
She’s afraid of the shock
If she set herself free

She’s scaling walls
One brick at a time
Fighting for a reason
To believe she should try

Too far gone she’s so Jaded
Without self-medication
But she's still star gazing'
She doesn’t know why

She knows that she has to
The empty persists
And it makes her feel small
Like she doesn’t exist

She floats through nirvana
On pavement and back
Gets lost under street lights
As grey fades to black

Her wheels turn slowly
Almost at a stand still
She feels like they'll stop
But knows they never will

Too far gone she’s so jaded
Without self-medication
But she's still star gazing'
She doesn’t know why

She knows that she has to
The empty persists
And it makes her feel small
Like she doesn’t exist

And she doesn’t exist
And she doesn’t exist
She likes it this way
Without a purpose

She’s gliding in grey light
And staying up all night
And everything’s alright
If she doesn’t think of it

Too far gone she’s so jaded
Without self-medication
But she’s still star gazing'
She doesn’t know why

She’s scaling walls
One brick at a time
Fighting for a reason
To believe she should try

She’s still star gazing
but she doesn’t know why
But she doesn’t know why