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 Oct 2014 Natalie Neo
Zella
void
 Oct 2014 Natalie Neo
Zella
there is this void
in my soul
it takes away
any enjoyment i have
and kills the things
i love so dearly.
 Oct 2014 Natalie Neo
Zella
On rainy days
are when I miss you
the most
when my heart aches
and longs for
your touch.
 Oct 2014 Natalie Neo
Zella
the pain I feel
without you here
is worse than
any pain
I've inflicted
on myself.
(i miss you)
I wish you weren't so far,
I don't mind the physical distance,
But I wish you would return my calls,
I wish you would send me lame jokes when I'm feeling down,
I wish you would tell me everything is going to be alright,
I wish you would play me music until I drifted to sleep.

And I know you found someone new,
And maybe she's prettier than me,
Or funnier,
Or more talented,
But I hope you didn't tell her,
The same things you told me.

I hope she holds your heart dearly,
I hope she makes you happy,
But I hope when you get caught in the rain,
You remember me,
And the way we danced and shared a wet smiling kiss.

I hope one day you come across my favorite record,
The one we sang to a million time,
And a smile creeps onto your face,
and you laugh at our childish ways.

I hope your father still asks about me,
And your mother still compliments me,
And brother still mocks me.

Maybe one day you'll call,
You'll ask if it's different here,
You'll tell me about her,
And maybe I won't want to hear it,
But I'll say I'm glad you're so happy,
And I'll say she sounds wonderful,
You'll tell me she is.

I won't tell you I wish I was her,
And I won't tell you I miss you,
And I won't tell you I wish I could have stayed,
And been the one to make you so happy,
And I'll tell you about my life,
And I'll make it sound better than it is,
Because I don't want you to worry.

We'll hang up,
And I won't say I love you,
And you won't say it back,
But that's okay,
Because you called,
And that's enough,
To know you thought of me.

But you didn't call.

You're still with her.

And I'm still waiting.
I just hope you know
I love you
as much
as you hate me.
 Oct 2014 Natalie Neo
Dr Strange
I can't seem to accept that you're gone
Constantly I find myself turning around only to discover you're no longer there
I miss you so much
Though you died nearly six years ago,
At night I cry myself to sleep missing your presence
Why...why did you have to leave me in this world all alone
It's so cold in this dark corner,
And my tears only make it worse
Every night I would wish upon the stars hoping for your return,
Write sad song wishing you would respond
BUT YOU NEVER DO!!!!
I can't help but blame myself for your death;
Maybe if I was there you would still be alive,
Or maybe I would be dead as well
Now the only thing that brings me comfort is this gun to my head
It speaks to me, ya know (laughs nervously)
It say that all I need to do is pull the trigger and all my pain will go away
Then we can be together once again,
But I don't want to die yet
I mean yes my heart aches
It even has a gaping hole in the center of it
But somehow it still remains in tact
Half its original mass, but still fighting to survive
Everything I know today is because of you
You taught me that life was a heartache
That it will stab me non-stop trying to get me to break
It almost got me to
I was on the verge to breaking
Almost forgot everything and gave in to the night
So close to smiling because I was losing my mind
But it's not over yet, not for me
Now that I see its treacherous ways
I'm ready to stand tall like you taught me to do
Thank you grandpa, I owe it all to you
 Oct 2014 Natalie Neo
ally m
WANT
 Oct 2014 Natalie Neo
ally m
there’s nothing more i want
than to get lost inside my head
and never return back.
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