SO TODAY I AM TYPING (2/11/13)
IN CAPITALS
BECAUSE
I AM INFATUATED
WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T CARE.

SO TODAY I  AM TYPING (2/15/13)
IN CAPITALS
BECAUSE
HE LOOKS AT HER
THE WAY I NEED HIM
TO LOOK AT ME.


SO TODAY I AM TYPING (2/24/13)
IN CAPITALS
BECAUSE
SHE PUT HER ARM
AROUND HIM
AND HE SMILED, AND HIS
EYES DID THIS THING
THIS BEAUTIFUL, CRAZY,
AMAZING THING.


SO TODAY I AM TYPING (2/29/13)
IN CAPITALS
BECAUSE
HE SMILED AT ME
AND HE SEEMED UPSET
I SAW IT IN HIS EYES
MY WHOLE WORLD
IS HIS HAPPINESS.


SO TODAY IM TYPING (3/4/13)
IN CAPITALS BECAUSE
SHE LEFT HIM
AND HE WAS SO HEARTBROKEN
THAT IT MADE MY OWN
HEART HURT.

SO TODAY I AM TYPING (3/9/13)
IN CAPITALS BECAUSE
HE SMILED AT ME AND
PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME
AND I GOT THIS FEELING
THIS BEAUTIFUL, CRAZY,
AMAZING FEELING.


SO TODAY I AM TYPING (3/14/13)
IN CAPITALS BECAUSE
HE KISSED ME
HE KISSED ME THE WAY I NEEDED
HIM TO KISS ME
WITH LUST
WITH PASSION
WITH NO TASTE OF REGRET ON THE
TIP OF HIS TONGUE.



SO TODAY I AM TYPING (3/20/13)
IN CAPITALS
BECAUSE HE ASKED ME TO
BE HIS GIRLFRIEND
AND HE KISSED ME AGAIN
AND I THINK
I LOVE HIM.



SO TODAY I AM TYPING (1/25/14)
IN CAPITALS BECAUSE
HE PROPOSED TO ME
HE WANTS TO MARRY ME
FINALLY
I HAVE GOTTEN THE LOVE I DESERVE.



so today i am not typing (6/12/88)
in capitals
because
he is gone
he died
he left me
alone
back in this old feeling
this awful
old
feeling.



m.g.

the pain
is now cutting
me
so deeply
i can't think
and i have
to be strong
for the ones
who need
me
to be strong
i have to put on this mask
a mask
with smiles
a mask that says
"No, she's happy, don't worry.
The scars on her wrists don't exist."
but frankly
i can't even breathe
or handle
this anymore.

i'm done.

m.g.

The world around me slows to a crawl,
No one around me knows me at all.
I look over the crowd of familiar faces,
From various times and different places.
They laugh and they play, one and another,
All with secret pains, I’m just like the others.

I sent it
At three AM
On one of those nights
Where silence gets violent
And I'm alone in my head.

I told you about the
Tiny pink pills
And how
If I took eight
I would sleep forever.
I gushed that
They were hidden
Under the toothpaste slathered
Countertop
In my bathroom.

I told you I loved you
But that
You weren't enough to stop me anymore.

I did actually consider it.
It was one of those nights.
But at some point,
As I laid on top of my comforter
And shivered under the fan,
I realized that
You weren't going to wake up
And convince me out of it.

I also thought
About how my mom was
A light sleeper.
How the floorboards would sound like
Orchestras
And the cabinet
Would be the symbals
To her.

I fell asleep
Numb,
But naturally numb,
And woke up wondering
What you would say.

You didn't say anything.