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 Apr 2018 krm
nabi 나비
i've always been the kind of person to give people multiple chances
regardless of how badly the wound was that they previously left
but after awhile when i get so broken
i have to give up and let them go
so please dont ever say i give up too easily
because i have never done that
don't wear me down and blame me for cutting those strings
i have my reasons for burning bridges
and if you aren't gonna let it go until i tell you then so be it

i got so emotionally drained and i felt like a walking zombie
being friends with that toxicity of a human
i did such terrible things and outside of that state i would've never done them
but the biggest reasons i cant do it
no human should get blamed for a suicide attempt
especially if they are just trying to help
no 13 year old should have to take away her friends scissors
because she won't quite cutting in school
nobody should break at the sight of a human

no human should have to go through that
and then feel the need to turn around with a smile and keep helping
so when i say i cant do it
i cant go back to that
don't torment me and make fun about it
because i don't have enough of me to go through that again
im done giving chances to the person that made my soul shatter through a phone call or a letter from the psychiatric unit
im sorry but im out of chances
 Apr 2018 krm
Pea
I'll say these meaningless words
over and over and over again:
I love you
I love you
I love you

Even when I think of you as God;
I love you

Young blood, heated and dried
Dead head
You had crawled
Sickeningly sweet

I long for you
Funny duchess!
My Mary ---

Even though my tongue knows only clichés
and sometimes my tongue is too short
to speak human and the other times
my tongue is too long I think it
becomes python ---

I wish you were not dead;
Be here with me
You, omnipresent
I wish I could believe --

You wrote the bible with your own pretty hand --
Your ****** head (my sunrise)
Throbbing heart (still exists)
You have soul like universe
Objectified, scientified

How did you put it in?
And a nebula
Sickeningly sweet
I hope for no regret
Yet I am afraid

Of pureness -- your lethal-honest yellowness --
Spreads like **** pictures
Peanut butter on the bread in an easy morning

My, blonde thing!
Dark eyes, the nights
Spent crying
Why did you die, why did you die---

O why did you die?

Why did you die?
 Apr 2018 krm
Julie Grenness
My mother, Sylvia Plath,
These days, I might laugh,
Electric oven, you know,
I was too young to know,
One way to go--
It was an electric stove!
I was too young to know,
I used to live in dread,
I learnt what blackmail meant,
She got cremated, you know,
I was too young to know,
These days, I might laugh,
My mother, Sylvia Plath.
A tribute to emotional blackmail. Feedback welcome.
 Mar 2018 krm
melina padron
we no longer achieve
intimacy by
peeling off our
skin like the band aid
that will sting as it is torn away.

intimacy is the art
of feeling like a monument torn apart,
hoping no one will tear you down
to create a better
you.

i have become depressed-
repressing all the love i have to give
if only i could shed my shadows
and remember we are only flesh.

i don’t remember
how to be intimate.
 Mar 2018 krm
Allen Ginsberg
I walked into the cocktail party
room and found three or four queers
talking together in queertalk.
I tried to be friendly but heard
myself talking to one in hiptalk.
"I'm glad to see you," he said, and
looked away. "Hmn," I mused. The room
was small and had a double-decker
bed in it, and cooking apparatus:
icebox, cabinet, toasters, stove;
the hosts seemed to live with room
enough only for cooking and sleeping.
My remark on this score was under-
stood but not appreciated. I was
offered refreshments, which I accepted.
I ate a sandwich of pure meat; an
enormous sandwich of human flesh,
I noticed, while I was chewing on it,
it also included a ***** *******.

More company came, including a
fluffy female who looked like
a princess. She glared at me and
said immediately: "I don't like you,"
turned her head away, and refused
to be introduced. I said, "What!"
in outrage. "Why you ****-faced fool!"
This got everybody's attention.
"Why you narcissistic *****! How
can you decide when you don't even
know me," I continued in a violent
and messianic voice, inspired at
last, dominating the whole room.
 Mar 2018 krm
Hopeless Outlet
Through your tears
And my actions
Our fire went out
Our fire went out
your voice echoing
we're better than this
you've broken down
you've broken down
Though I have found
A life without love
is no way, to be found...
In a home without doors
I constructed your decor...
Out of memories
Out of memories
Guilt, blame, and shame
A spell left behind to keep
you locked away.....
Maybe someone can release you
someday.
Just had the urge to write.
Something along the lines of a break up, where a person knows they've put you in a place emotionally where you're cut off from others.
 Mar 2018 krm
Fullfreddo
~

in sympathy, in honor, in horror
with those whose heads are shaved
against their free will

and to uncover
my nakedness before you,
as prisoner, as victim, as poet,
nothing must come between us
even this:

and yet,
the prickly stubble head resprouts
soon enough,
spring floral efforts
an annual reminder,
that even undisguised and exposed,
my bald palate plate,

is just another nether hiding place

~
May 2015
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