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 Jun 2014 NitaAnn
Classified
Help Me
 Jun 2014 NitaAnn
Classified
Help me find a reason not to give up.
Help me find a reason to actually give a ****.

Don't tell me it gets worse before it gets better, because every time I hit rock bottom I start digging six feet under.

Help me see the light again
Help me see through all my pain

Don't tell me others have it worse because I know that I have no right to be sad but I didn't ask for this curse.

Help me stand up when I get knocked down
Help me support myself when I'm on shaky ground.

Don't tell me my scars mean I've been through hell and survived and that I'm strong enough to carry on, because I believe that I deserve nothing but to die.

Help me learn to love me as I am
Help me not to change my life to fit someone else's plan
There's monsters in my closet,

They came to say hello

They want to take me someplace

But I don't want to go.
 Jun 2014 NitaAnn
aphrodite
"I wonder if guardian angels cry when they see it all play out;
and as they stand with their hands tied,
do they cry out loud?"**

I wonder if they ached,
when I fell in love with you the first time.
Did they shout, "Stop! You've chosen the wrong one!
Go back, this is your warning sign!"

Or if they begged God
to let them step in
when I was 16 and took too much
of my mother's prescription medicine.

Or if they stared down at me in resentment,
when I ignored the voice in the back of my head
that told me to walk on the main roads
instead of taking that back alley instead.

I wonder if they stand around my bed
when I lay empty and unloved,
wanting to reach out and hold me
but being held back by the realms above.

I wonder if they want to apologize
for my life that didn't go as planned.
And to tell me that their intentions were good,
but interfered with by the evil of man.

I wonder if they would apologize,
for not being loud enough when I made the wrong choice.
And I wonder how many times they've broken the rules of Heaven,
just to make sure that I could hear their voice.

Or if they'd tell me that they've always been watching,
but sometimes human desires overpower their will.
Would they tell me that these things my fault?
Do my guardian angels care, still?

Because the world keeps spinning faster,
and it seems everyone is only out for themselves...
but I wonder if our guardian angels live in regret
because of the times they couldn't save us from ourselves.
This poem was inspired by the user NitaAnn.
The quote at the beginning of her poem is was set off my thought process.
Do you believe in guardian angels?
 Jun 2014 NitaAnn
BreakingSilence
It starts out like a warming feeling like the blood is rushing too hard through veins, my thoughts become vivid and wrack through my brain.
I try to think of something, anything other than my impending doom, I feel like I'm all alone confined to a room.
I see others but I don't think they see me, I think they see the husk of myself the person I used to be.
I'm not fine I couldn't scream it any louder it feels like I'm being crushed into fine dust, powder.
No one sees me even those who walk with the same distress, I know they're trying to scratch to the surface I know they're a mess.
My heart and my brain just keep colliding and every time I feel panic starts rising.
I tried on my own everything in my power but I feel so helpless all I do is cower.
I am strong but not enough to face myself alone, it's hard breaking down these walls of mine that have become home.
You ask me to calm down or to just take a breath my insides are screaming I'm trying my best.
I never wanted to feel like this I never wanted to feel constricted but the more my body takes this thrashing the more I feel my minds being evicted.
The person you see on the street, or in the mall, they may look like me but they don't feel at all.
I'm always trembling in my own shoes, I'm afraid to free myself for whom it's me I'll lose.
If you could only see the me that's clawing beneath the skin trying to get out of this hell I'm in.
 Jun 2014 NitaAnn
Jeremy Duff
Maybe
 Jun 2014 NitaAnn
Jeremy Duff
Maybe someday you'll be lonely and understand how to be a friend.
Maybe you'll give me a call.
Maybe I'll pick up or maybe I'll have a new friend.

I don't want to write about you anymore
and maybe I'll stop.
It's not a question of what happens on my side but a question of what happens on yours.
 Jun 2014 NitaAnn
cheryl love
O Lord, I made a mistake today
A mistake which I am ashamed of.
I would give anything to repay
those that I have done wrong against.
O Lord, today I was very selfish
I put myself first instead of others
My head is bowed, my heart is heavy
With shame against my sisters and brothers.
Dear Lord, help me to see the error of my ways
help me to put the right words forward.
Help me, oh please help me, for I am scared
in case my path turns messy and awkward.
I will think of others, before myself in future
for who am I to put myself first.
Just a lonely old soul in the darkest of depth
with hunger and a raging thirst.
A passio to do what is right
A desire to please all that I meet
A wanting to help all that I can
a need to be perfect and complete.
All that I want lord is to be loved.
All that I need Lord is the desire to fit in
therefore Lord, I am not a selfish individual
But a person with a want for the good life to begin.
She
She must be able to see what I see
Feel what I feel
Hear what I hear.
Does she blind herself?
Does she deafen herself?
Does she deaden the pain somehow?
I scream inside that this is not you,
you are worth more.
Love is not a slap
Love is not staying
Love is not hearing over and over words such as *****.
But, she is not me anymore, she has chosen a path.
A path I cannot follow, but follow I must,
for she is me I am her.
the physical me switches me off, just before
the blow, just before the scream.
© JLB
12/06/2014
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