we both wanted to escape.

to do this,
I used self-harm.

to do this,
you used me.

Pain. The pain I feel in my chest is blinding. The hurt I feel knowing that I’ll never get to see you again. The sadness that creeps up and down my body like waves in the ocean. The flashing of memories and moments I wish I could revisit. When I first held you in my lap, to chasing you across the yard. I wish you were here. Please come back. My Abby girl. You were my best friend. I took care of you, treated you like the princess you were. The pain in my chest will never lessen. My family can move but I can’t. They didn’t know you like I did. I knew your time was coming. I knew. But for some reason, I couldn’t accept it. I was in denial. You couldn't leave me. What hurts me the most is that I couldn’t say goodbye to you in person. I couldn’t tell you how much of a good girl you were. I hope that you're happy where you are. I hope that you’re not in pain and I hope that maybe someday, I’ll see you again.