We who shuffle seamlessly along history's ****** banks,
And think our lives are pointful, filled up with meaning,
Yet believe prayers are unanswered, and demeaning,
But if they're not, could never offer thanks,
Can feel the horrors we have created just beneath our skin;
Writhing, contorting, causing trembles in our hands,
Over nothing so petty as what some god claims is sin,
And won't be washed clean by the hourglass's sands.

I am strongly convinced that, even if I can
(By some miracle), be absolved by God's forgiveness,
That He has absolutely no **** right to do this,
To steal that from me, and to change what I am.

Some will call you names
Let them call you what they want
It doesn’t make them right to shame
It doesn’t make them strong to taunt.
It just makes them bigger fools,
And for that we all grieve.
That they don’t play by the rules
That they profess to believe

Some days bring us rain
Other days will brightly shine.
Sometimes the cookies burn
And others will come out fine.

We all know people who cry
If other people get more than they
Who find fault with almost anything
Some other people have to say.
It seems to be a lifelong thing
Said by overgrown adolescents
Crying because someone else got
What they wanted as a present,

If we never learn to count the ways
That we have had good fortune
How can anyone ever clearly tell
The butterfly from the cocoon?
How can we not look at the moon
And then enjoy a starry night
If we spend our time in tears
That somebody else isn’t right?

Some days bring us rain
Other days will brightly shine.
Sometimes the cookies burn
And others will come out fine.

In times of crisis or trouble
I’m the one that keeps it together
When the world's crashing around me
I remain everybody’s tether

“Hey are you alright?”

I offer words of comfort
I tell them: ‘all will be okay’
No matter what the problem is
I have something positive to say

“You know…. its okay to be upset”

‘I’m fine’, I tell them all
When things happen in my life
Everyone around me is impressed
That I’ve overcome another strife

“Just keep hanging in there”

The truth is no one knows
That this is how I cope
I hide behind the happy mask
So I can give others hope

“You’re taking this…really well”

But somewhere along the way
I lost track of how I feel
I even tricked myself into thinking
That my happiness was real

“Are….are you sure you’re okay?”

But I can feel my façade cracking
Emotions are breaking through
I don’t have any distractions
And I don’t know what to do

“But..if you’re really okay…”

I force my smile even bigger
And laugh without knowing why
I’ll do whatever I have to do
To maintain this beautiful lie

*“…then why are you crying?”

I may be slightly merry
Or even pretty ******
You might even say I'm wellied
(I'm sure you get the jist!)
And I may now talk like thish-ish
And be completely off my ****
But I'll wish you a  merry Christmas
Because I love you guys to bits.

So this is what they mean by hell on earth
what happens when you stop believing
in faith and haven't yet figured out what's left
a curse for thinking, for thoughts are what brought me here
for Death is my master, lest I forget
he will send reminders every now and again
tear me from my body and set me up atop
to watch it stumble and fall apart
and it is anguish more than pain
when your mind doesn't want to stay
and you can't help but despair
for how can I do this until the rest of forever?
how many days more can I force myself to seem okay?
it is but a moment, but a flash
but it is an eternity
of burning dark and flame compressed into a second in time
waiting erratically to go supernova
it is the kiss of night searing back during daylight
I hug myself but I cannot find comfort in the grasping of my own arms

Suddenly, I see the wasteland behind my eyes
where I do not smile and stars go to die.